Page 44 of The Duke of Distraction
His eyes clouded with confusion for a moment, and then he laughed.
“You remember?”she asked.
“I wasn’t as sotted as you probably thought.I was, however, heavily felixed.Unavoidable, I’m afraid.”His lips curved up in a self-condemning smile.“I am who I am.”
She almost smiled but schooled herself not to.“You let Anthony get drunk again.”
He flinched and dipped his head in shame.“Yes, but I should like to blame my aunt and uncle, if I may.”
She would agree with doing that, but again, she wasn’t going to make this easy for him.Not when everything felt so difficult to her.“That’s a bit cowardly of you, isn’t it?”
He put his hand over his chest.“A direct hit.Your barbs have exceptional aim, Miss Colton.”
He was so good at livening every single moment.Too good.
“You shouldn’t have let him drink so much.”
“No, I shouldn’t have,” he said soberly.“And we certainly didn’t need to continue after dinner.Would it help to know that I think it was helpful for him?It wasn’t like before.We were just being—”
While he searched for words, she offered, “Stupid men?”
“Yes, that.Precisely.And I was even more stupid to behave as I did with you.”
“What way was that?”Had her voice risen?
He briefly narrowed one eye at her.“I think I tried—poorly—to flirt with you.But I stand by what I said.You did look beautiful last night.”
Her heart picked up speed, and she hoped he couldn’t see the tremor racing through her body.“You’ve never said things like that to me before.”
He frowned.“Surely I’ve commented on your appearance over the years.”
Surely he had.“Not in that way.And you told me not to frown.And you tried—” She looked away from him, from the unbearable pull she felt toward him.
“I tried to touch you,” he said softly.“Sarah, I was not myself.My aunt and uncle… They bring out the worst in me.”
She snapped her gaze back to his.“Touching me is the worst of you?”
He winced again, then wiped his hand across his brow.He tipped his head toward the floor.“That didn’t come out right at all.Hell.None of this is right.Not since Darent Hall.”
He lifted his eyes to hers, and they simply looked at each other for a long moment.
“We can say it,” she whispered, her voice sounding ragged.“Since we kissed.”
“I don’t want things to be different.You’re still my best friend’s sister.You’re family, now more than ever.”
She didn’t want things to be different either.She needed all the family she could keep.“We can forget the event ever happened.”
The edge of his mouth ticked up.“I thought I had—for a while there.But I thinkpretendingit never happened is probably the route I shall have to take.”
He was telling her he couldn’t forget it.Well, neither could she.In fact, she feared they were to be the kisses by which she would measure all others.“I shall do the same.”As best she could.She exhaled with relief and perhaps with a tiny bit of something else.Regret, she realized.
“I’m glad we discussed it,” Felix said, straightening and smoothing his hand over the front of his coat.“I do hope you’ll forgive me—for all of it.I intend to nurse you and Anthony back to your gleeful selves.”
“Is that really possible?”
“Of course it is.”He was so matter-of-fact that she couldn’t help but believe him.
“I suppose it must be.You recovered after your father died.”
