Page 35 of The Duke of Distraction
“Yes.”
“Did you feel like this when your father died?”
He tensed but forced himself to exhale and relax.“It was a very different situation.My father was…ill.When he died, it was a relief.”
She pulled her head back from his chest and looked up at him.“It was?”
Her surprise reminded him that he’d never told anyone that before.“As I said, he was ill, suffering.I was relieved to see him free of pain.”That much was true.Felix remembered a disconsolate man, one who tried to engage with his son but eventually gave up on that too, as he had with everything else.
“I vaguely remember your father,” she said.“I think I only met him three or four times.”
That was probably about right.“You were young.”
She laid her head back on his chest.“The only thing I recall about him was that he went fishing with us in the pond.Well, I wasn’t allowed to fish.”
“You weren’t?”Felix didn’t remember that.He did, however, remember his father swilling brandy all afternoon.
She shook her head against him.“My mother forbade it.She said it wasn’t proper for a young lady.”
“Neither was climbing trees, but I remember you doing that,” Felix said.
“She would have been horrified.”Sarah took a deep, shuddering breath, as if she were trying to keep her emotions in check.“I disappointed her.”
Felix clasped her upper arms and held her while he looked into her eyes.“No, you did not.You are a wonderful young lady any parent would be proud of.Your mother had expectations that didn’t fit you.You can’t think she loved you any less because you weren’t yet married.”
And yethecould think so.He knew his father barely loved him, and his uncle had drilled into his head that love was a useless emotion, so what did it matter.But he knew it mattered to her.
“No.I know she loved me.I just wish… I wish they weren’t gone.”
Felix had spent much of his childhood wishing things were different, but you couldn’t change reality.And this was their new reality.They needed to find a way to live in it.Fortunately, he was a master at that.
He gave her shoulders a quick stroke, then stepped back from her.“Pack your things.We’re leaving London.”
She stared at him.“To go where?Why?”
“We’re going to Stag’s Court.You need a change of scenery, and London will soon be too stifling to stay.”
“That is certainly true.But I can’t go to Stag’s Court with you.Not alone.”She glanced briefly at his mouth before diverting her gaze to the window once more.
In all the days since they’d left Darent Hall, they’d never discussed the kiss.Kisses.It was as if they had never happened, which he’d decided was for the best.Especially given what had happened to her parents.He’d wanted to be there for her and Anthony as a friend and support, and awkwardness over what had happened during Guess the Kisser would have killed that effort.
Felix had, at first, wondered if it was part of the problem—why she’d withdrawn from him.However, after speaking with the staff at the town house, he’d learned she was like that with everyone.
“We won’t be alone,” Felix said, addressing her concern.“Anthony is coming with us.”
Her brows briefly arched up in surprise.“He is?When did he agree to that?”
“He hasn’t yet, but I won’t give him a choice.I’ll pour him into the coach if I have to.”Pour was the best verb to describe it since Felix was fairly certain Anthony was trying to drink his body weight in wine, brandy, whisky—whatever he could find—every day.
“He won’t come,” she said softly.
“He will.Trust me, Sarah.”Felix straightened.“We’ll leave tomorrow morning.I’ll be here at eight.”
“So early?”
Felix started toward the doorway.“Eight!”He climbed the stairs to the second floor and turned left to Anthony’s bedchamber in the front corner.Though it was afternoon, Felix was confident he’d find him there.
Sure enough, the room was dark, and it smelled of stale alcohol.Felix went to the window and opened the drapes.Light spilled over the dark interior, setting dust motes swirling and making the air sparkle with their flight.
