Page 34 of The Duke of Distraction
Chapter 6
“Time for a walk!”Felix called as he entered the drawing room at the Coltons’ London town house.Every day for the past twenty-four days, he’d come here and done his best to cheer Anthony and Sarah, and every day, he left feeling helpless.
Anthony was racked with guilt since he was the one who was supposed to travel to Oaklands.Instead, he’d delayed the trip so he could attend Felix’s frivolous party.His anger toward Felix had been white-hot at first, which Felix had been more than willing to endure.It was the least he could do.
Sarah, on the other hand, had withdrawn.Lavinia had visited just about every day, but she’d left feeling as dejected as Felix.And now she was gone, having traveled to Suffolk for their friend Fanny’s wedding to the Earl of St.Ives.
Today, Sarah sat near the windows that overlooked the street below.She glanced over at Felix as he entered and offered him a wan smile.“Good afternoon.”
She’d grown a bit thin, and her eyes lacked their familiar sparkle.He tried, with every visit—at least every visit when he saw her—to make her smile.Sometimes he succeeded, and sometimes he didn’t.That she smiled upon his arrival today was an improvement.He took it as encouragement and decided to see if she was ready to talk about the future.
“The space on Vigo Lane is still available,” he said, dragging a chair to sit near her in front of the windows.“Would you like to go see it tomorrow?”
She didn’t register she’d even heard him.He said her name, and she turned her head toward him.“I’ve given up on the shop.It was a silly dream anyway.”
He hated hearing the sadness in her voice.“It wasn’t.Why are you giving up?”
“Why would I need the shop now?There’s no one to care that I become a spinster.”Her jaw tightened, and she looked back at the window.
“I care.So does Anthony.”
She tossed him a skeptical glance.“Are you certain about that?The only thing Anthony seems to care about is a bottle that holds alcohol.”
That much was true.Felix had tried to drag him out of the house, but he simply wouldn’t budge.Not even for a trip to the Red Door.Not that Felix had been since the party.
Since the Coltons had died.
They’d been like family to him, but he couldn’t possibly feel the loss as deeply as Sarah or Anthony.
Felix tried another tack regarding the shop.“What of your assistant?Isn’t she expecting to manage the shop?”
“I sent a note to Dolly explaining everything.She understands.”
He let his frustration get the better of him.“I’m sure she said she did.What else is she supposed to say?”
“And what amIsupposed to do, pretend my parents weren’t killed and everything is fine?”Her voice rose, and he was glad to see her display emotion.
“No, but you don’t have to stop living just because they did.”
She stood abruptly, the dark gray skirt of her gown moving against the chair as she took a step toward the window.“It isn’t fair.What happened to them.”
He rose and moved to stand next to her “No, it isn’t.But they wouldn’t want you to stay in this house forever.”
“No, they’d want me to marry.So I should do that.”She turned to face him, her eyes sad.“Fanny married David yesterday.At least I think it was yesterday.”
“You should have gone.”Felix had tried to talk her and Anthony into attending the wedding, but they’d refused.
“I’m in mourning.”
He wanted to say,fuck mourning.When his father had died, he’d been thirteen.His uncle hadn’t forced him to mourn, and Felix hadn’t wanted to.But then, he’d felt relieved to finally be free of his father’s oppressive despair.That was, he realized, probably why he was becoming so infuriated with Sarah and Anthony.If you couldn’t let the dead go, you were no better off than they were.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life.Honor your parents by being happy, by finding joy.”That was the only thing that had kept Felix from taking after his father.
“I’m not sure I know how to do that right now.”Her gaze found his, and he saw the tears welling in her eyes.
Felix took her in his arms and held her against his chest.She didn’t cry, though, not beyond a few sniffs.She was content to rest upon him, though, and he was content to have her there.
“I know this will get better,” she said softly.“It has to, doesn’t it?”
