Page 83 of The Duke of Seduction
“You’re very kind,” Phoebe said. “But I knew that. That’s why I invited you up. I saw you arrive, and you’re the first person I’ve wanted to talk to. You’re also intelligent, and you’ve suffered the notoriety of being one of the Duke of Seduction’s subjects.” She looked at Lavinia with a touch of admiration. “And you seem to have handled it with aplomb. I haven’t seen you rush into an engagement—not as I was foolish enough to do.” Her gaze darkened. “Marriage is not the shining beacon of feminine completion we’re led to believe.”
“Er, yes.” Lavinia felt a bit disingenuous since she was now engaged. And she’d tell Phoebe—in a moment. First, she wanted to ask about Beck. Rather, the Duke of Seduction. “Do you blame him? The Duke of Seduction, I mean. Without his interference, you would likely not have had to deal with this…problem.” That word was wholly inadequate.
“Possibly, but I don’t blame him. No, the blame rests firmly with Sainsbury and his inability for fidelity or, at the very least, discretion.” She shook her head and looked down at her lap. “Actually, I blame myself most of all. I was so anxious to marry.” She lifted her gaze to Lavinia’s. “That’s what we’re supposed to be, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Lavinia’s heart twisted for the other woman. Now she did indeed feel sorry for her—not because of Sainsbury, but because it seemed she’d learned a painful lesson.
“But you aren’t,” Phoebe said, her lip hitching up in a brief smile. “You and your friends defy convention. You cling to the perimeter, and you set your own terms.Youblame the Duke of Seduction, I think. For your popularity.”
“Er, yes.” Lavinia said again, concerned that her discomfort might be plain. “I may not have been anxious to marry, but I did plan to.Doplan to, rather.” She summoned a tepid smile. “I’ve just become engaged to the Marquess of Northam, actually.”
Phoebe’s jaw dipped with surprise. “Have you?”
Lavinia nodded. “Today.”
“And are you happy about it?” Phoebe tipped her head to the side. “I can’t really tell.”
“Quite. We suit rather well. So in that respect, I must thank the Duke of Seduction.” She nearly told Phoebe the truth—that Beck was him—but decided it was a secret that should stay a secret. In fact, the duke should retire his match-luring poems entirely. Instead, Lavinia would persuade him to write poems that would inspire young women like Phoebe to seek clarity and purpose for themselves and not rely on the expectations of others.
“Well, I’m glad it worked out for you,” Phoebe said.
“And I’m sorry it didn’t for you. Truly. But this will pass, and there will be other opportunities.”
“Perhaps, but they needn’t be marriage. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I’ll marry for love or not at all. And he has to possess a good measure of honor and dignity—and display a high regard for women.” She winced slightly and hesitated a moment before asking, “Aren’t you a bit worried about Northam’s reputation?”
Lavinia glanced away, hating that she’d asked the question and yet knowing it would be on everyone’s lips the moment they learned he was betrothed. And to her of all people—someone who barely appeared on most people’s societal landscape.
“I’m not.” Lavinia had been, of course, but knowing he hadn’t looked at or thought of another woman since they’d met was enough for her. She supposed he could be lying, but she didn’t think he would do that. “Perhaps I’m naïve, but I believe he’ll be a devoted husband.”
Phoebe smiled warmly and clasped her hands together in her lap. “How wonderful. I do hope that will be the case.” Her smile faded. “It’s horrid, though, isn’t it, that if he was unfaithful, people would look at you as if it were your fault. Men are excused from nearly anything. I’m sure Sainsbury will find another gullible young woman who will fall for his charms, just as his cousin did.”
“His cousin?”
“Lord Haywood. He had a horrible reputation when he was a young buck, and he ruined at least one young woman and is rumored to have carried on with many more. Yet, he was able to marry an heiress just a few years later.”
“Yes, I’m quite familiar with Haywood’s transgressions,” Lavinia said grimly. “Thankfully, the woman he wronged was able to find happiness.”
“She’s a peculiarity and very, very lucky. Most of us aren’t.” Phoebe waved a hand. “But I am not looking for sympathy. I will survive this, and I will be the better for it, whether I wed someday or not. In the meantime, I’ve persuaded my mother to allow me to return to the country.”
“Oh, then you’ll miss my wedding breakfast.” Lavinia had planned to invite her.
“I’m afraid I must. I don’t plan to discuss the details of why I called off the wedding, but people will talk anyway.”
“I won’t say anything,” Lavinia rushed to assure her.
“I know you won’t—at least not to anyone who will gossip. I imagine you’ll talk to Jane about it and maybe your other friends.”
“Only if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t. It’s going to be a spectacle in any case, which is why I’m leaving town.” She rose. “I should start packing.”
Lavinia took her cue and stood. “I’m so glad to see you’re doing well. Thiswillpass.”
“It will, but whether I’m able to weather it with a decent reputation is yet to be determined.” She shrugged. “I have no regrets—and that’s what’s most important.” She looked intently at Lavinia. “Remember that. If for any reason you decide you don’t want to marry Northam, you don’t have to. Take the time of your betrothal—and I recommend stretching it out if you can—to make sure this is what you want. Once you’re wed, there’s absolutely no turning back.”
A shiver tripped up her spine. She’d said something similar to Beck earlier that day, and he’d decided to plunge forward, without regret. She smiled at Phoebe. “I can’t imagine anything happening to change my mind.”
They said good-bye, and Lavinia went downstairs to the drawing room where her mother waited. Mrs. Lennox thanked Lavinia for visiting with Phoebe.
As she made her way outside, she couldn’t stop thinking of Phoebe’s advice and the fact that she didn’t need it. Nothing would stop her from marrying Beck. They had friendship, attraction, mutual respect…and she loved him.
Yes, she was completely in love with him. And that was all that mattered.
