Page 60 of The Duke of Ice
“You said as much,” Violet said wryly. “Not that anyone would have mistaken you for a gadfly.”
He laughed at that, trying to imagine himself running about chatting with people. “I’m not sure I ever would’ve been taken for that.”
“Doubtful, but I remember you being quite amiable. As I said yesterday, women threw themselves at you—and that was before you were a duke. What happened after you inherited? I would’ve liked to have seen that.” Her voice had grown more tentative with the question and subsequent declaration. Again, she was being cautious, not that he blamed her.
He took a drink of his water. “I went to London for the Season—that was 1813. It was difficult. I hadn’t acclimated to being a duke, but it seemed I should just get on with it.”
Violet hadn’t spent any other seasons in London. Clifford had said it wasn’t necessary, but she knew it was so that he could carry on his lascivious activities without her around. “Is that when you met your wife?”
“Yes.”
“Did you fall in love?” Violet tried to keep her voice nonchalant.
“Violet,” he rasped. “Do you really want to talk about this?”
“We need to understand each other. Learn each other. I would like to know everything that happened to you.”
And he wanted the same from her. He’d seen the flash of pain in her eyes when she’d mentioned her husband. Speaking of him couldn’t be easy, especially to her former lover.
“I met Jacinda very soon after I arrived in London. She was the epitome of grace and kindness, and I knew she’d make an excellent duchess. I didn’t fall in love with her.”
“Oh.”
He let a laugh escape. “You sound relieved.”
She cringed. “I didn’t mean to. I’ve no wish to disrespect your wife.”
“She understood that I didn’t love her. She used to say that she had enough for both of us.” His chest constricted as remorse poured through him. She’d deserved more than he could give. If he’d been honest at the start, he might have felt differently. But then he hadn’t known he wouldn’t love her. He hadn’t realized that his heart had still belonged to Violet. And probably always would.
He finished his water. “Did you love your husband?” He suspected he knew the answer already and was every bit as relieved as she’d been.
“Absolutely not.” The words came fast and vehement. “My parents arranged the marriage, and it was as horrid as I’d anticipated it to be.” She took a deep breath, and the color that had flooded her cheeks receded a bit. “I blamed myself, thinking it was a terrible match because I still loved you. I tried to be fair, to give it—him—a chance, but he was an awful man.”
They’d conversed very quietly, and between the music and the discussion around them, he was certain no one could hear what they said. Even so, this seemed too private to share here.
“Do you want more water?” he asked.
She blinked at him, likely due to the abrupt change in topic. “Are we taking the full recommended amount?”
“I don’t feel required to do so, do you?” When she shook her head in the negative, he continued, “Then let us depart.” He stood and offered his arm.
She took it, and they walked toward the exit. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Not at all. I just think our conversation might be better suited to a different venue.” He escorted her outside. “Is your coach about?”
She inclined her head down the street. “Down there.”
“I’ll walk you to it.” As he pondered what she’d told him and what he’d discerned from her behavior, he concluded that her husband had been someone he’d like to meet in a boxing match—and beat to a pulp. “Did he ever hurt you?” He hadn’t intended to ask, but the question rose in his mind and spilled from his mouth.
“Once.”
Every muscle in Nick’s body tensed. But again he reminded himself, what could he have done? “If I’d known that, I would have killed him,” he said quietly, his gaze trained straight ahead.
“It wasn’t more than what I deserved after what I’d done.”
Nick stopped. He turned, uncaring of the spectacle he might cause, and clasped her hand while she still clutched his other arm. “Don’t ever say that.” Except he’d wished her ill—and he’d thought he’d suffered for his vengeful thoughts. They’d both lived a tangled mess. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“I’m glad to hear you say so. Maybe now I’ll believe it.” She smiled up at him, hope shining in her eyes.
