Page 59 of The Duke of Desire
Aquilla and Ivy joined in her laughter. The maid took that moment to offer a tray of cakes. Lucy indicated for her to leave it on the table. The maid said there was tea on the other side of the room.
Lucy gave her a gracious smile. “Thank you, Laura.”
They all nibbled on cakes for a few minutes before Ivy asked Aquilla about her trip to Tintern.
Aquilla’s pale blue eyes lit with joy. “Oh, it was splendid! You simply must go.” She glanced between her friends. “Both of you. We had a lovely holiday.” Her cheeks flushed a fetching shade of palest pink. “But then Ned could’ve taken me to a rookery, and I would’ve had a grand time.”
Lucy laughed softly, and the two of them exchanged knowing glances. Ivy had known things would change when her friends married, that they would, naturally, put their marriages well before their friendships. She hadn’t, however, expected to feel jealous of what they had. She’d accepted her lot long ago, and never imagined she might change her mind.
That was preposterous. She was not changing her mind. And even if she was, it wouldn’t matter. She was a companion. A spinster. And she was spoiled goods.
Except West hadn’t made her feel that way. He’d made her feel special and beautiful, and he hadn’t given two figs about her ruined status.
She reminded herself that it was easy for him to feel that way in the context of their association. He needn’t be concerned with whether she was respectable or marriageable.
“I’m just so glad the three of us are together again,” Aquilla said. She beamed at both of them and, as she was seated in the middle, reached out and clasped each of their hands. “Tomorrow evening, we will attend the assembly and take up our positions along the wall, just like old times.”
Old times.As in six months ago. But it might have been a lifetime. Everything was different now. What would Ivy do next Season? Lucy and Aquilla had awakened her from a five-year descent into loneliness and misery. Without them by her side, would she tumble back into the darkness?
Lucy took her hand from Aquilla’s in order to nab another cake from the tray. “How long can you stay?” she asked Aquilla.
“We planned for a week, and we arrived yesterday. I wish it could be longer, but we’ve already been gone from George for a long time. He’s eager to have Ned back home.” George was a mental invalid who Ned took care of. Aquilla had confided the deepest secret to them, that George was actually Ned’s brother. Ivy had liked Ned anyway, but learning how devoted he was to his ill brother had vaulted him to near sainthood in her eyes. To see someone for whom family was sacrosanct gave Ivy hope. Not for herself, but for the long-term happiness of her dear friend.
Aquilla let go of Ivy’s hand and glanced anxiously between her and Lucy. “I’m a bit nervous. You see… Ned and I are expecting a child, and we don’t know how George will react.”
Lucy’s eyes widened, and she gasped, her rounded mouth quickly turning into a beatific smile. “We are too!”
Aquilla let out a happy squeal, and they hugged each other fiercely. Ivy looked at them together on the settee, cloaked in their joy, and felt a massive knot gather in her throat. She was beyond thrilled for them, but to know that they were so happy and that they would soon be mothers… She had to work to keep her emotions in check. Inside her, a torrent of sadness and despair threatened to tear her apart.
They separated, and Ivy forced a wide smile. “I’m so delighted for you both.”
“You must be the godmother,” Lucy said.
Aquilla nodded. “Oh yes, you must. For both of us.”
Ivy laughed because if she didn’t let out something, she was going to explode from the pressure of it all. “If you insist.”
“We do.”
The conversation turned to when they expected their babies to arrive—within a month of each other, if their calculations were correct—and Ivy did her best to remain engaged and appear interested. In truth, she wanted to leave. Which made her feel awful. Her friends had always been a source of sanctuary for her—the only one she’d ever had.
By the time she and Lady Dunn finally left, Ivy wanted to climb into bed and pull the covers over her head. But hiding wasn’t her way. Instead, she’d finish knitting the socks she planned to take to the workhouse when she visited next. Yes, she always felt better when she was doing something for someone else.
It made no sense to focus on herself—she was as she would ever be.
