Page 81 of Love Undercover
She walked farther into the room, now effortlessly comfortable. She’d vacillated between self-consciousness and confidence earlier, but now, there was a level of ease in being undressed around him.
Everything about her called for his hands again, but he held back, fighting for control as he moved to his duffel bag to pull out his laptop. He needed to keep his eyes on something—anything—else if he wanted to direct his mind away.
But he wanted her again, couldn’t stop that deep ache in his bones. Now that he’d had a taste, he felt insatiable. Worse than before because he’d gotten so much more, been buried inside of her, and a part of him wanted to lose himself there for the rest of time.
Because he sure as hell didn’t want to come back to real life. But the reality of what they were facing came crashing back as he searched through his bag for the little pocket that held the flash drive. He still needed to figure out what he was going to do next.
“Why are you frowning like that?” she asked, coming up beside him, her hand sliding over his bare stomach.
It was so casual, so comfortable, and his chest ached when he thought about the fact that he’d put her in danger, that she was still in it by being with him.
Santiago was out of the picture now, but Zimmerman was a worse man to have on their tail. Chase didn’t know how long they had until someone—Zim’s guys or Gibson’s—found where they were. If only he could sink into this with her, casually touching, discussing what this meant, what they were going to do next in this relationship that was so unexpected.
But his priority had to be figuring out what to do with the information they’d found on the flash drive.
“Chase?” Sadie’s voice pulled him back, and he laid his hand over her arm across his stomach.
He took a deep breath. “I’m trying to figure out our next steps.”
“You and me? Or. . . ?” Her voice trailed off as her brows pulled together, the faint flash of fear coming into her eyes.
He took her arms from around his waist, holding her hands to bring them to his lips. She’d already cut to the crux of his dilemma. There couldn’t be a next step for the two of them, but his heart spasmed to think it; his stomach twisted when he realized this was the moment he had to say it, make it final.
“Sadie,” he started, but her teeth flashed in a dark smile.
“You don’t have to say it, Chase.” Her voice was soft but unwavering. “I know there isn’t a you and me.”
He flinched. It was somehow more painful hearing her say it, even though it was exactly what he’d been ready to tell her. “Not until this whole thing is finished.”
“I know. It’s fine.” She moved to sit on the bed, laying back against the pillows.
His eyes involuntarily raked over her, still just in her bra and underwear, as she pulled her legs in close to her body, sliding them under the covers.
He swallowed hard. “Are you sleeping in that?”
One side of her mouth quirked up, but she was still focused on arranging the duvet around herself. “Well, my pants are still wet, and I lost my shirt, remember?”
“Do you. . .” he cleared his throat. “Do you want a shirt to sleep in?”
She raised her eyes, and the sultry look she gave him slammed him in the gut. “I do get cold.” She tipped her head, giving him that coy smile again, the effect like a midsummer day. “But I thought maybe you could keep me warm.”
He stared at her, his very being erupting into a full-blown war. They’d just established that there wouldn’t be a next step for them. Not right now. And he couldn’t tell if she just hadn’t been taking him seriously, or if she was really okay with letting it all go.
Because he wasn’t. Hehadto let it all go, but he sure as hell wasn’t okay with it.
Her smile grew, and she patted the spot next to her. Of course he’d rather sleep beside her than alone in the other queen bed. But he didn’t want to blur the lines for her any more than they already were.
But he knew it wasn’t Sadie who was having trouble with that. And he realized that was going to be a big problem when this all ended.
“Are you done?” she asked, raising a brow when he still didn’t move.
His gaze followed hers to the bag his hands still rested on, the laptop and flash drive just out of her view.
The physical part of him wanted to be done with it. And the emotional side of him wanted to climb into bed and hold her, pretend none of the outside world existed. But it wasn’t only illogical to ignore all of that, but it was also a dangerous game to play with himself.
“Sadie, I—“
She sighed heavily. “Chase, I know. This whole thing sucks. I want. . .” she turned her face to the side. “It doesn’t matter what I want. Except for right now. I just want to be together while we can.”
