Page 156 of The Courting of Bristol Keats
“That’s what you think? That we were a mistake? Dammit, Bristol! Yes, a lot of mistakes were made, but they weren’t all mine. When I made the deal with you to search for your father, I didn’t know he was still alive. I was duped as much as you were.”
“But you wanted him dead.”
A tic pulsed near his temple. “Not that way.”
“Because you wanted to kill him yourself.”
“Yes,” he answered without remorse.
“Why couldn’t you just let it go, Tyghan? It was a mistake! He didn’t know it was a demon blade or what it would do to you.”
His lips parted. “A mistake?” he finally said. His face flushed with color. But it was his eyes that Bristol noticed, the wince around his lids, the smallest movement that showed the greatest pain. When he spoke again, each word was chiseled stone. “He was my friend, and he knew it was ablade. A blade that could kill me. I bleed and can die just like anyone else—and he knew that.He knew.”
He headed for the door, but when he opened it and saw all the chaos in the hallway again, he stopped and looked back at her, his lips rolling over his teeth like he was struggling to hold back more words. He failed. “Just this morning I told you I loved you. I meant it.”
She saw the hurt in his face, his shoulders squaring, bracing himself against the pain. She didn’t care. She wanted to hurt him more. She wanted things to be even, fair. She wanted the pain in her own head to stop. “Don’t try to pretend you ever loved me. You’re a disgusting liar, and you don’t even know what love is.”
A final punch. She saw that too, in the deadening of his gaze.
He nodded. “Maybe not,” he answered. “Maybe neither of us do. See you at drills in the morning, Keats. And just so you know, Eris is working on your demands, even if it means more knights might die because of them.”
He left, slamming the door behind him.
CHAPTER 106
Cosette’s silken lips traveled down Melizan’s back. She whispered soft, gentle things, her voice as seductive as a balmy breeze, but Melizan studied her palm like she could read something in its creases. Cosette flipped onto her back and sighed a frustrated breath. “Where the hell are you?”
Melizan turned to Cosette, only a little contrite for her lack of attention. “I’m still in that fucking barn, trying to figure out how a mere mortal slipped right through our fingers. Tyghan has every right to be furious. I never would have believed it myself. Whose loose lips—”
“You think this is all my fault, don’t you? You still blame me.”
“What?”
Cosette rose from the bed, snatching up her robe. “For Cael.”
Melizan sighed. “Not that again. Let it go, Cosette. I never blamed you.”
“Tyghan did, or at least he suspected me.”
“I never told him anything. Cael was a fool to travel without an escort.”
“But my slip—”
“Elphame is nothing if not a writhing pit of wagging tongues. Especially when royal affairs are on the menu. Even solemn oaths can’t keep them from wagging. A dozen people saw Cael leave that day. It could have been anyone.”
But Cosette was the last one to see him. The last one to speak to him. And then she went down to the shore to see her family. Tyghan had noted that.
“I’ve done everything I can to make up for it. You know my family, they just want news of anything. Life in the river can be so dull—”
Melizan’s head cocked to the side as if struck by a thought. “Have you told your family that Kierus is back?”
“No! I told you, I don’t tell them anything anymore.”
“Hmm,” Melizan mused, tapping her finger to her chin. “Maybe you should?” She held her hand out to Cosette. “Come back to bed. Maybe there’s a way your family can help us. But first, let me make up for my inattention.”
“Have you grown tired of me?” Cosette asked, her lower lip halfway between a pout and a deadly threat.
Nothing could have been farther from the truth. Cosette was Melizan’s match in every way, the only one—but the idea of marriage, which Cosette brought up frequently—frightened Melizan, the idea of caring too much, because it seemed that was a certain way of losing someone. And she never wanted to lose Cosette.
