Page 49 of A Wolf After My Own Heart
She did. They all did, and Lila had real appreciation for Macropi’s bacon: crispy but not burned, as opposed to limp on the fork. She had less appreciation for the scrambled eggs, which had been desecrated with onions. Ketchup smothered the taste nicely.
“Annette’s on her way over,” Mama Mac informed everyone over a table that looked like it had endured a tsunami.
“Boo,” Oz replied, but there was no heat in it.
“And you.” Mama pointed her—well, Lila’s—spatula at him. “You should get dressed. We’ve got a long day and it’s already seven.”
“Gosh, half the day’s gone.”
“That’s right!”
So he wouldn’t have to eat bacon and scrambled eggs in his underwear (not that she would have objected…exactly…), Lila had lent him her robe, a knee-length thing that was once blue but was now a ratty gray. Repeated washings had left it softer than velvet. She’d been half-kidding, but he immediately shrugged into it and then walked around sniffing the lapels and smiling, which was equal parts endearing and off-putting.
Get laid, get focused, get whatever you need to GET IT TOGETHER. And stop finding Oz endearing when he’s shuffling around in your robe. A shorty robe and hairy knees should not be erotic. Neither should the memory of betrayal.
“Net’s here,” Devoss announced. “Who’s gonna break the bad news?”
Before anyone could answer, there was a quick knock at the kitchen door, followed by “GoodGod, something smells heavenly.”
“Smelled,” Devoss said. “Past tense. Okay, not really. But you’re not smelling actual bacon. You’re smelling ghost bacon.”
“All gone,” Sally said mournfully.
“Oh.”
Garsea’s shoulders bowed, and she looked like someone stomped on her puppy. While it was eating the last of the bacon.
“Easy,” Lila said, rising and going to the counter. She hit the Open button on the microwave and extracted a plate with half a dozen slices, which she handed over to Garsea. “Crisis averted.”
“Well,nowit is. Ummm. Thank you!”
“Ithoughtthat last platter looked a little light,” Macropi mused.
“When’d you even do that?” Oz asked.
“The second I realized Garsea was coming.”
“Thanks again,” Garsea mumbled, chewing. “And look how easily fooled you all were!”
“I don’t know if it was easily,” Lila said. “You guys might have great sniffers, but apparently you can’t tell the diff between ghost bacon and actual bacon.”
And just like that, the fun was sucked out of the room.
“That. That!” From Devoss, who’d dropped his fork. “Are you saying you know we have preternatural smelling abilities—”
“Olfactory capabilities,” Garsea corrected.
“—sure, whatever, that we smell good? Or are you just generalizing us as ordinary people whodon’tsmell good? Wait, I said that wrong…”
“We went over this last night,” Lila said mildly as she sat at the head of the kitchen table because it was her table and her kitchen, thanks very much. “Oz will tell you.”
They all looked at Oz so quickly Lila fancied she could hear their eyeballs click.
“Uh…” Oz cleared his throat. “She reluctantly and vaguely acknowledged that maybe we were a little weird. On occasion. And she emphasized maybe.”
“That? That was the Big Talk?” Devoss asked. “The Confrontation?”
“Wow,” Lila marveled. “I can actually hear the capital letters.”
