Page 85 of Bears Behaving Badly
“Sorry. Too busy counting my cracked ribs.”
Meanwhile, since Oz had spurned her rudimentary first aid efforts, Jenn, still sleep-tousled and wearing a pair of Jim’s old pajamas—the size and spatula pattern gave it away—pressed a cup of milk into Annette’s hand. Oh, good, she hadn’t drunk it all the night before. “We were just talking with your brother.”
“Nuh-uh!” Oz protested. “I barely said hello and then you tried to choke me with a wet towel that smells like onions. That’s what we’re doing.”
“He’s not my brother. He was my foster brother. Soon he’ll be mylatefoster brother. Very, very soon. And very, very late.” Annette rubbed her temples. “I knew it. I knew this would happen. Well. Not this exact thing. But something bad. Is it too early for a glass of orange juice and vodka and please tell me you’re out of orange juice?”
Oz, for his part, was staring at her and David, nostrils flared and eyebrows arching in surprise. The bruises were hidden, but she knew he could smell David all over her and silently dared him to say something, anything, just. One. Thing. But all he did was limp to a chair and sit.
“Shouldn’t we call an ambulance?” This from Jim, who had just now come upon the bloody kitchen scene.
“Why?” Oz replied. “Are you sick?”
“He’ll be fine,” Annette said with assurance she didn’t quite feel. Ozwouldbe fine if he simply dropped everything and obeyed her every command like a slavish robot programmed for compliance.
(This seemed unlikely.)
“I’m so sorry for all of this,” Annette told her bewildered hosts. “It was kind of you to let us stay here. If Oz has ruined anything tangible—”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Oz asked, trying for indignant but settling for peeved. “How’s tangibility a factor here?”
“—I’ll of course pay to replace it.”
“Don’t even worry about it,” Jim said at once. “The important thing is your brother wasn’t killed.”
“He’s not my… Yes. I agree, thatisthe important thing.”
Oz beamed. “Aw.”
“Shut up. Gentlemen, shall we?”
“You’re all welcome back anytime,” Jenn added with credible sincerity, walking them to the door.
“Really?” Oz asked as he limped past her. “Why?”
“Yeah, we’ve gotta get going… Thanks, guys. Great seeing you again. Sorry about…” David gestured vaguely in Annette and Oz’s direction, shook Jim’s hand, and hugged Jenn, who still seemed inclined to fret, but fretting without impeding Annette could handle.
“The bleedinghasstopped. And the gash by your ear—it looks smaller. How is that… Are you, uh, are you like David?” Jenn whispered, which was asinine because they were all occupying the same small room so whispering was pointless.
Oz grinned. “Naw, I’m straight. Ready, gang?”
“Huh?” From David. “Wait, I’m st—never mind, it’s too early to get off track already. Let’s get going. Jesus, Oz, you really are a mess.”
“Yeah, but a sexy mess.”
“You know what? I’m gonna let you have that one.” David gave him a gentle shoulder chuck. “Youarea sexy mess.”
“And if you don’t die working this case today, you’re welcome to come back here tonight and crash again,” Jim added, and got another elbow in the ribs from his wife for his trouble.
When the three of them were free and back on the street, they were able to settle some particulars.
“Of course I’m driving.”
“Did that car knock the remaining sanity out of you? You can barely walk.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t drive. Otherwise, what am I here for?”
“I’ve asked myself that same question, Oz. Many, many, many, many, many times.”
