Page 63 of Bears Behaving Badly
“Right?” Nadia asked. To Annette: “You never bringmebiscuits.”
“Not biscuits,” she replied at once. Here was an old pet peeve. “Never biscuits. They’re called cookies. Biscuits are what you get at KFC. Well, you can get cookies there now, too.”
Oz nodded, bouncing on his toes a little. “But I’ve given it some thought—”
Oh, dear God. What? What was coming?
“—and Annette, there’s more to life than bringing me the odd cupcake now and again.”
“Which you haven’t been eating.” To David: “Itoldyou that was a bad sign.”
“I didn’t doubt you,” David replied. “I genuinely have no idea what the fuck we’re all talking about. It’s weird and now it’s starting to get a little boring.”
“Who can eat eclairs when you’re in trouble?” Oz asked, probably rhetorically. “Or, at least, headed for trouble. But getting back to shipping the two of you—”
Annette groaned.This isn’t happening. Waking up in 3…2…1…
“—it occurred to me that there’s more to your life than busting Dev and trying to get Pat the hell out of your house.”
Not happening, this is not happening, I’m not discussing my odd life while David Auberon is standing there soaking up every last word. Pat will hear me swearing in my sleep and will wake me up any second because this is not happening.
“Or at least, there oughta be…”
Any second.
“…so Nadia and I started trying to figure out who to hook you up with, and the whole thing just sort of came to life on its own. Like Frankenstein!”
Any second.“Frankenstein’smonsterdid not come to life on its own, Oz.”
“We knew you’d be too stubborn to take our advice, and you’d never go on a setup—”
“Not even a setupIset up,” Nadia added. “Which is insane,insane. I have exquisite taste and would find you the perfect mate.”
“—so we looked around for some other sad soul who works too hard and has no life…”
“I was wondering when I was going to come into this story.” David sighed. Annette had to hand it to the guy; he seemed remarkably nonhomicidal.
“And here we are!” Oz (finally) finished. He brought his hand up like he was going to give her a friendly pat, but thought better of it at the last second, which was a pity. “It’s a conspiracy, sure, one with dark roots that has taken on a sinister life of its own—yeah, I’ll grant you that—but you were a solitary bear when we were kids, and you still are. And we thought David could help. All the lying and meddling was done out of love and maybe a little boredom, and I’m saying all this as your loving brother.”
“You were my foster brother for about ten minutes, Oz.”
“One hundred and twenty-two days,” he corrected.
Helpless, Annette looked at David. “I am so sorry. About everything. But especially this.”
He shrugged. “Not your fault. Nice to have an explanation, though. I was starting to wonder if there were secret meetings being held that you and I weren’t invited to.”
“Only three,” Oz said.
“No, you’re forgetting the morning we went to the Salty Tart,” Nadia added.
“What?” And here she had assumed the story couldn’t get any more aggravating, because she was a foolish creature. “How dare you hatch plots against me in my favorite bakery without inviting me!”
“Uh. Guys? It’s way past time to get back to the problem at hand. It was time to do that five minutes ago, but I got caught up in the narrative. Which happens alotaround here,” David muttered.
When they just looked at him, David elaborated with “Lund’s killer or killers? Who have tried for us twice? Don’t get me wrong, the sordid details of Operation Lonely Hump are fascinating, but time and place, right?”
“It is a sad day when David Auberon is the voice of reason,” Nadia said, and she probably thought that was a compliment.
