Page 22 of Truth, Lies, and Second Dates
The tall blond with a sunburned forehead—not often something you saw in early Minnesota spring—and tan suit showed them a badge. “I’m Detective Springer. Can you help us figure out what happened here?”
“I have no idea what’s happened here,” Ava replied, and she was pretty sure it was the truest thing she’d ever said.
“Goes double for me.” Dennis looked even worse than when she’d first seen him that morning, which she’d honestly thought was impossible. And he smelled worse, too. Could he still be drunk? Stranger things etcetera. “When did this—I mean, who even called you guys? And Ma? Whatisthis?”
“I told you not to invite her.” This from the always-helpful Monahan matriarch, who when she wasn’t wringing her bird-like hands, was cracking her bird-like knuckles. Wait. Did birds have knuckles? “I said, didn’t I?”
“It’s not like he was doing me any favors,” Ava mumbled, wishing she’d faked appendicitis or amnesia or blindness or a coma or scurvy—anything that would have gotten her out of the Monahan madness. Because here they all were, again. Upset and finger-pointing like they’d been paid. Again.
“Ma!” From Dennis, who was clearly Fed Up. “Not now with that, okay?” Wait,with that? Mama Monahan had said something like this before? Then: “Detective, I don’t get any of this.” Dennis was raking his fingers through his hair and looking not a little deranged. “Can someone please run down the sequence of events for me? Quietly? And super, super gently?”
“Sure. An employee of the funeral home got here at seven thirtyA.M., saw the mess, called 911 to report a break-in andvandalism. When we got here we realized it was a little more than random vandalism. We contacted your mother, and she suggested you and Miss Capp might have some insight.”
“No, my ma suggested thatCaptainCapp might have done it. Or been in on it.” He turned to the older woman, who was lingering just on the outside of their small circle, now clutching her purse so hard the knuckles were dead white. “Ma, Ava and I were together last night.Allnight. There’s no way she did this.”
“Not ‘together’ together,” Ava put in hastily, and Mrs. Monahan looked slightly less appalled. “We just hung out. For hours. But we didn’t do anything else. Besides drinking. If you were… y’know. Worried.”
“Or you got him drunk so you could dump him and come back and do…” Her lip curled as she eyed the devastation. “This.”
“No one,” Ava replied dryly, “has to ‘get’ Dennis drunk.” She wasn’t sure if he was an alcoholic, but the boy liked his booze and no mistake. “Besides—”The total stranger I was throwing myself at can verify I’m telling the truth. Argh. There’s just no way to make that sound unslutty. Not that I owe this harpy an explanation. The cops, though…
“Ma! Is this why you told me to bring Ava?” Then he slapped his forehead. “Dumb question,of coursethat’s why.” He gave Ava an apologetic shrug.
“You were keeping things back ten years ago, and you’re withholding information right now, young lady!”
“I am not! And I’m pushing thirty, for God’s sake, so feel free to drop the always-condescending ‘young lady’ nonsense.”
Detective Springer had been watching the squabble with the air of a man watching a tennis match where the playershit each other instead of the ball. “Is there anything you can tell us, Captain Capp?”
“I didn’t even know about this until I drove Dennis here. Last night we hung out, then went to bed late.” If push came to shove, she’d bring Tom into it. Better that Mrs. Monahan think she was a hussy than a… what? Vandal? Upender of tables and spreader of ash? “That’s it.”
“Captain Capp has an alibi until 1:50A.M.”
“Yeah, what he s—Tom?” She gaped—she’d almost used up her gape allowance for the month, but it was definitely warranted. There was her make-out buddydu nuit,freshly showered and shaved and wearing a crisp, white button-down with black slacks. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“And what were you doing to Ava until 1:50A.M.?” From Dennis, who had a knack for making things worse.
“This is Dr. Tom Baker from the Ramsey County Medical Examiner’s Office,” the detective explained.
“But… there’s no body.”
Springer coughed. “Technically there is.”
“It’s nice to see you again, Ava,” Tom said with textbook-perfect politeness.
“Uh,” she replied, because what the hell?
Definitely should have read that card last night,she realized,bad lighting be damned.
Twelve
“Son of a buggering switch!”
Oh, good, Ava thought.My surreal weekend isn’t over yet.
She was in the small waiting area of the Ramsey County Medical Examiner’s Office, and wasn’tthatmacabre? She had no idea they had waiting rooms. For dentists, sure. For auto repair, of course. For morgues… huh. One of those things you never think of until you’re in it.
After giving her statement to Detective Springer, and further squabbling with Mrs. Monahan, she had seen the morgue truck pulling out and, before she consciously realized what she was doing, had hopped in her rental car and followed it to Saint Paul. Dennis could get a ride with his mom. Or a cop. Or thumb it. Or Uber it. Or live in the funeral home.
