Page 20 of The Love Scam
“—because we’ll have the DNA results in a couple of days.”
What
the
fuck?
When he was sure he wouldn’t scream, he said, “It sounded like you said you’re waiting on DNA results. But that can’t be right, since I haven’t submitted DNA for such a test.”
“Now, don’t turn this around on me,” she began, and he groaned.
“Literally every time someone says that, it’s because they want the focus off whatever horrible fucking thing theyjust did.”
“Hey, it’s my job.”
“It’s your job to hang out in Italy to procure DNA for a test you arranged without the subject’s permission?”
She shrugged. “Kinda.”
He pressed his fingers to his temples and rubbed.Squash… urge… to strangle… gorgeous nutjob…“Okay, first? That’s weird. You’re a weird girl, Delaney. Second, how the hell did you manage to get your hands on my precious, precious DNA, annnnnnd now I’m remembering that I barfed on you a couple of times. It’s my own fault,” he admitted. “I was practically giving it away!”
Delaney made a strange noise, like she was trying to turn a laugh into a cough. “The point is—”
“You have a weird job that requires you to do weird things.”
“—you won’t have to take my word about Lillith when the results come in. So.”
“So…”
“So you’ll know she’s yours—or not—and you can arrange your life accordingly.”
He could only stare. “Just like that.”
“Yep.”
“It’s just that easy.”
“I don’t think it’ll be easy at all, but that’s how it is.”
“And if I’m not her father?”
“Then you’re not her father and I go to the next guy on the list. That’s why I’m here. I was hired to track down and test the candidates, and give the lucky winner custody of Lillith.”
“Right, but… if I’m not the proud papa, what happens next?” Not that it was any of his business, but from where hewas standing, this looked like a barely contained mess. So once he was out of the picture, where did that leave Lillith?
Not that he cared.
“Then it’s no longer your problem.”
“And I’m one of the names on your list because…” He’d bet the money in his wallet in the canal that the safe held her list, and probably some other goodies, too.
“Because her mother said so. And in nine years, Donna Alvah never lied to me.”
“Ah-ha!” He felt like jumping up and down but was wary of crushing Peeps and chocolate Easter eggs. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Except we aren’t, because you’ve said that name before and weren’t forthcoming either time.” A pause while her words sank in, then: “You’ve known Lillith’s mom for almost a decade?”
“We served together.”
“Like, in the army? You look like you’re in your early twenties. Are you a veteran? And—”
