Page 50 of Deja Who
She shook her head. “That’s not why I’m hesitating.” Adorable. He’d been in her house for the Scene. The Final Blowoff Scene. Why would Leah care if he overheard a phone call? She picked up the phone, viper-quick, as if she was afraid she would lose her nerve if shedidn’tpick it up in a hurry. “What.”
Nellie’s charming contralto murmured in her ear. “Darling, thank you for picking up. You so rarely do. Rude, but then, you were never afraid of showing off your, ah, less appealing qualities.”
“What. Is. It.”
“Darling, you sound so chilly, even for you.” She had thenerve, the colossal fucking nerve, to sound chiding. Disappointed, even. Leah wondered if she was in danger of biting through her lower lip.When my teeth meet I will know I chomped too far.“I wanted to let you know that it looks likeMother Daughter Hookers Heroesis going to be picked up! Tom is on his way to Hollywood right now to work out the details; I insisted he get in on this from the very beginning. I simply refuse to get reamed on the gross again.”
Leah bit back a hysterical giggle.So... many things... to mock...She wondered if it was possible to have a sarcasm stroke. “This has nothing to do with me.”
“Darling, of course it does. I cannot star inMother Daughter Hookers Heroeswithout a daughter.”
“So hire one.”
“That’s part of the hook,” she explained patiently, as if Leah didn’t know all the steps in the Hollywood dance. As if she hadn’t known since first grade, if Nellie would have allowed her to attend first grade instead of hiring tutors to cram her full of multiplication tables and “see spot run” between shoots. “It’sourcomeback, not my comeback and some silly little nobody absolutely no one wants to see.”
“You have always overestimated my stardom, because of course it allowed you to overestimate yours. No one knows who I am—or was.”
“Is that any way for Little Miss Huggies to talk?”
“Former Little Miss Huggies. No.”
“That’s just the stage fright talking.”
“No.”
“So I’m going to messenger the script to you and—”
“No.”
“—you’ll have to be ready to take a studio meeting first thing Monday.”
“No.”
“Remember, jewel tones make your skin seem less sallow. And stripes make you seem... thick. Absolutely no stripes, darling. And your hair is...” A pause while It searched for the right word. “...fine. Literally fine; maybe you should try a thickening serum? Something to give you a little body?”
“No! For fuck’s sake, no! A thousand timesno, how are you not getting this? Even for you? No!”
“All right, but at least use some hot rollers to give yourself a little bounce.”
Leah pinched the skin above her nose and told herself to stop chewing her lower lip. “No to everything. No to the comeback. No to body. No to stripes. No.”
“At last you’re speaking sense. You could be pretty, but not with the distraction of horizontal stripes. Remember that dreadful two piece you wore for the Fourth of July special? You looked so very thick.”
“I was two.”
“Yes, well, you’re not getting any younger.”
“Pay attention: no to everything. Comebacks, stripes, my matricidal urges, your utter inability to care for anyone but yourself, no.”
“Don’t be difficult, dear.”
“No to theMommy and Me Fuck Festtelevision show.”
“I don’t understand.” Her contralto, even when she sounded flat and disbelieving, was still lovely. Leah actually shivered at the power of her voice, and was furious all over again that even she, who knew all of her tricks, wasn’t immune to her oldest, and best.
The second-to-worst thing: she could make you think she cared.
The worst thing: not only did she not care, she reallydidn’tunderstand.
