Page 28 of For Butter or Worse
“Watching you do this is quite soothing.” Sophie sat on a stool at the kitchen island and took slow sips from her glass of rosé.
Nina smiled. They used to watch their mom cook every Sunday—the one day she always had off. Being in the kitchen had become their weekend tradition—make a lot of food in the morning, watch a movie in their pajamas and have a massive brunch with enough leftovers for dinner.
“I’m glad,” Nina said. “And you look very chic right now. It’s inspiring me.”
Sophie had embraced the bohemian style of LA. She wore a cream linen skirt, a marigold-yellow silk tank and a floral scarf around the topknot on her head—like a well-decorated cupcake in a hipster bakery.
“Tell me, sis, what’s happening with the icing?” Nina nodded at the counter, where she’d laid out a bowl, mixer, cream cheese and sugar.
“Oh, maybe you forgot, but I have a heart condition.” Sophie tapped on her chest, where her heart—and her pacemaker—was.
Nina guffawed. Her sister had been born with a condition that had been monitored. But when she passed out at the age of five due to a low heart rate, the doctors decided she needed a backup option—hence the pacemaker. It certainly wasn’t keeping her from stirring up icing, though.
“Nice try, but you have a robot keeping you alive, so you’re technically stronger than all of us,” Nina said.
“Mom never made me cook.” Sophie raised an eyebrow and took another sip of wine.
“That’s because she had me to help her.” Nina met Sophie’s eyes. They were both silent for a beat.
Nina looked down at the pasta dough and licked her lips. Their mother had passed away six years ago from breast cancer, but Nina still had moments where she forgot that she wasn’t there anymore.
Sophie swallowed the last of her wine. Then wordlessly walked over to make the icing for the Funfetti cake—their mom’s favorite.
Nina watched her, unsure of what to say. They were both sad. Their mom’s birthday had gone from being fun to a day of remembering what they’d lost. But Nina’s mom had always told her to be strong for her little sister. When her mom went to work, it was Nina who made sure both sisters got to the bus stop. And when they came home after school, Nina got dinner started and had Sophie doing her homework. Nina had been not only a sister, but also Sophie’s guardian. And she didn’t regret the role she’d been given—she’d brought so much of her experience being responsible for Sophie into overseeing her own kitchens—but being “strong” had also translated, at least for Nina, to not showing every single emotion she’d had. So when she was in situations like this, where she and her sister were both on the verge of tears, she didn’t always know how to respond.
Her mom had never been cold with them. Always warm and loving—giving them hugs and kisses the minute she stepped in the door. So what would their mom do? Nina walked over to Sophie and hugged her from behind.
“This sucks,” Sophie sniffled.
“Yeah.” Nina rested her cheek on her sister’s shoulder. “We don’t have to celebrate her birthday. We could just drink wine and be sad, like normal people.”
“Mom wasn’t normal people,” her sister said quietly.
Nina nodded into her sister’s shoulder. Their mom was their sunshine, their everything, and they’d been happiest when they were all together. Her mom had been Nina’s best friend, until she couldn’t be.
For her funeral, their mother had requested that they take her ashes to the ocean, listen to Prince, drink a bottle of wine and watch the sunset with her one last time before letting her go into the waves. Letting her go, though, had never fully happened. There wasn’t a day that went by where Nina didn’t want to talk to her mom. She still had her number saved. For the first few months after she died, she’d call her mom’s cell and let it go to voice mail, just to hear her voice recorded. “This is Sheila Lyon, leave me something happy” had brought her to tears more than once. But her mom didn’t want them sad about her life being over. She only wanted her girls to remember the good. Sophie was right: their mom was not normal people.
Still, her eyes welled as she stood with her sister on a day when their mom should be right there in the kitchen with them. She couldn’t help but be sad that Sheila wasn’t there, no matter how much light she’d brought.
“Okay, I’m not your personal Kleenex, though.” Sophie nudged her with an elbow.
Nina wiped her nose on her sister’s sleeve for good measure.
Sophie turned and they full-body-hugged. Today would be sad, period.
She wasn’t sure how long they stood locked together, but eventually they both went back to cooking. Sophie turned on a Prince playlist from her phone as a breeze from the open kitchen window brushed through Nina’s hair.
“What are you gonna wear tonight?” Sophie’s words broke through her thoughts.
Her third date with Leo. Maybe she should’ve rescheduled, but she wanted to take her mind off what day this was and who was absent from it. Plus, Leo was safe—he wouldn’t know it was her mom’s birthday. He wouldn’t ask if she was okay or hug her in an overly meaningful way that then made her cry.
And their last date hadn’t been as awful as she’d expected. Pretending to be in a relationship wasn’t ideal, and neither was acting like she couldn’t see the photographers who took their photos. But they hadn’t had a blow-out fight. He’d even made her laugh, which was a real shock. So maybe this date would surprise her in a good way, too. They’d have dinner, some wine, and then she could go home and fall asleep and this whole awful day would be over and done with.
Nina’s eyes went wide. “What’s tonight?”
Sophie shot her a look. She’d asked Nina about the date every single day for the last three days.
“Excuse me if I want to live vicariously through my sister who is going on aBachelor-style prearranged date with a very, very, very sexy man.” Sophie turned on the mixer and the hum of metal meeting the glass bowl filled the room.
