Page 80 of Honeymoon Phase
I inwardly cry as his groin shifts away and he fumbles down low beside me as I continue to breathe long, slow breaths, feigning sleep. He pushes the blanket, putting it directly between us and I want to cry as I feel the warmth of him disappear while he attempts to extricate himself from his position as big “morning wood” spoon.
He’s clearly not happy with himself and whatever was happening, whereas I was just letting him fuck me in his sleepapparently. I’m not sure who is more fucked up in this scenario. Probably me.
I hear another expletive come from his lips as he drapes the blanket over me and then the sound of his footsteps grow faint as he walks away. I lie still until I hear the click of his bedroom door and with a frustrated squeak, I throw the covers off me, my body heaving with my unfinished orgasm.
My nipples are rock-hard under my shirt, and I glance down and feel blanketed in shame over how wet I am. I debate shoving my hand down my shorts and finishing myself off right here on this couch. It wouldn’t take long because I can still smell Luke beside me. The heat of him is still on the cushion. All I’d have to do is roll onto my belly, prop my ass up and do a few swift circles on my clit, and I could orgasm in less than a minute.
But it would feel hollow.
And if Luke came out and caught me, then he’ll know that I let him defile me in his sleep. He’ll know that I soaked through my panties and shorts as he touched me in his sleepy state of mind. And he’ll know I liked it and wanted more.
I suck in a deep, cleansing breath and stand on shaky legs to make my way to my bathroom. I need a shower and an exorcism. And definitely a clean pair of underwear.
Luke
Ice-cold water sluices down my back as I press my head to the tile of the walk-in shower attached to my bedroom. My cock weeps under the assault, bobbing up at me like the unforgiving bastard I am.
But he deserves this pain. I deserve this pain. I am a sick fuck and I refuse to let myself come after the horror show that I just woke up to.
I was... defiling my wife in her sleep like a fucking creep. I don’t deserve to climax. I don’t deserve to have a boner ever again. I deserve to rot in hell because I am unwell.
Last night was groundbreaking for me and Roe. She let down her walls and apologized for abandoning me in my hour of need. I opened up to her more than I’ve ever opened up to anyone. We needed that. We needed to not only clear the air, but to drop the wall between us. Yes, we’ve shared a lot of ourselves with each other over the years, but if I’m honest, I know I’ve also held a lot back from her. In wanting to be her light, be everything she needs, I’ve kept parts of myself hidden. And if I really want Roe to love me, she needs to know all of me—especially the dark parts. And I need to know all of her, so she feels safe with me. That I won’t abandon her either.
And my dumb ass had to fuck it all up by trying to sleep-fuck her.
I don’t even know if that’s a fucking thing. I probably belong in jail for even attempting it though.
I just hope to God she doesn’t know what I did to her. If she does, she’ll never be able to look at me the same again, let alone consider not divorcing me when this one-year marriage is up.
Fuck.
I get dressed and shove a baseball cap over my damp hair, pulling the bill down to hide my shame. I need to get out there and see what she knows. See if she can even look at me. One glance and I’ll know if she thinks I’m a creep, so let’s get this shit over with.
Steeling myself, I swing open my bedroom door and my eyes swing left when I see that she is standing in the bathroom doorway adjacent to me. Steam billows out from behind her and she’s wrapped in an itty-bitty towel, her wet hair folded up into a towel, revealing her damn bare shoulders. My cock instantly perks up, still clearly putting in a good fight after that cold shower.
“Hey,” she says, her eyes dancing from me to her bedroom door as she grips a wad of dirty clothes in her hands.
I clear my throat and give back a formal “Good morning.”
She offers me a wobbly smile. “I was just... taking a shower.”
“I see that.” My eyes drop to her legs, glistening with humidity. “I was doing the same.”
“Nice. Showering is good.” She shoots me a bizarre smile and I can’t tell if it’s weird or normal, because my brain is just screaming at me to fuck her.
“I, um... you fell asleep on the couch last night,” I stammer, pulling my hat down low because I feel like she can still see right through me.
“Yeah... I, um... don’t think I’ve slept that good in a long time.”
I smile at that, feeling happy that she got some good sleep despite my morning... pursuits.
“Did you, um... sleep on the couch with me?” Her cheeks flush red and I wince as my cock twitches.
“Yeah, um. I did sleep there with you.” I frown, wondering if she’s trying to tell me she knows. Either way, I can’t lie to her. “Sorry about that but I didn’t want to wake you so...”
Her eyes soften as she stares up at me, her lips parted, breaths coming in heavier. “You slept on the couch with me all night to not wake me?”
“Yeah,” I state gruffly and my face flushes. It’s hard to make eye contact with her when she looks at me like that. “Anyways.”
