Page 27 of Honeymoon Phase
“Ivan?” I hear Roe call back from the crowd.
Who the fuck is Ivan?
He smiles and props his axe on his shoulder, looking way too at ease for my liking. My eyes flick between them as they seem to be having a silent conversation and the hairs on the back of my neck begin to prickle as I examine him more closely. He has a good fifty pounds on me and a nose that could hunt for fucking truffles it’s so big. This can’t be her type... right?
The announcer begins the countdown and I snap my head back to my wood, feeling distracted and irritated and wondering what the fuck my best friend has done with a guy like that. The buzzer goes off, and I have a delayed reaction before I lift my axe and swing sideways into my log, the sharp crack of steel meeting wood ringing out over and over as twenty split pieces tumble to the ground. I rear back and swing again, my mind bursting with thoughts that are about anything but this fucking wood I’m working over.
WhatisRoe’s type? I don’t know because we’ve never discussed it. Probably a safe bet it’s not me. Which means she’llhave to fall for my personality before anything else. I might as well give up now.
My adrenaline surges when I notice both guys on either side of me have switched sides of their logs after what feels like no time. They start chopping into the fresh side to meet the weakened middle and I begin to panic.
Fuck, I’m behind. I’m way the fuck behind.
I swing harder, my movements becoming erratic and uneven as the soft patter of wood chunks fling into my face hitting my clear goggles.
Finally, I reach the center of the log and rush over to the other side to begin and it’s in that moment I realize Big Nose Ivan next to me is done. I swing and swing, desperate to not come in last, my brain splintering harder than the wood as I struggle to keep my pace, my muscles burning as the smell of freshly chopped pine overwhelms me.
By the time my log finally breaks off and lands with a heavy thud to the ground, I am gassed out. Hunched with my hands propped on my knees, I look over, fighting for my life as Big Nose stands there looking barely out of breath.
The announcer begins reading off the standings, Big Nose in first and me in last. With a growl, I kick my foot out to knock over the bottom half of my log. This kind of fit could rival Evil Ethan.
My eyes find Calder standing at the water table, so I make my way over, ready to hear all the shit he’s about to talk.
“Well, that sucked ass,” Calder says with a laugh.
“No shit.” I yank my hat off and shove my damp hair off my forehead as the palms of my hands ache from how hard I squeezed the axe. I take a cup from the table and drink it before throwing the rest on my face. “I feel like that whole heat lasted ten seconds.”
Calder tips his head and scratches his beard. “Guy next toyou finished in fifty-five seconds. I was timing it. Who the hell is he? I saw him waving at Addison.”
“Think his name is Ivan,” I grind through clenched teeth and look over my shoulder to find him talking to my best friend. Of course he is.
“They look friendly.”
I crack my neck while shaking my head. “Yep.”
“This is worse than I thought.” Wyatt’s deep voice breaks through my inner torment.
I glower over at them. The way he’s leaning into her makes me suspect that Big Nose has seen her naked. I consider how hard I’d have to swing my fist to break Big Nose’s nose. Is it easier to break a big nose or harder?
Calder gives me a light shove. “We need to change tactics.”
I eye him curiously. “What did you have in mind?”
Competition number two is the axe throwing event and I feel relatively confident, which is probably delusional of me. But precision is the name of the game here as competitors throw a double-bit axe as close to the center of a target as possible from a set distance away. It was one of the easiest tasks to practice with Max and Ethan on the mountain, but after getting my ass kicked on the first event, I realize that the training I did is likely no match for the years of log work these bros have on me.
Which is why after a quick convo with Calder, we decided that my side game has to be stronger than everyone else’s. They’re all here to win a competition.I’m here to win my future wife.
Two contestants compete against each other until one is left standing. My first enemy is some guy who looks at least a decade younger than me. I walk over to him, my eyes laser focused on Roe as she flirts with a couple of flannel fucks.
“Hey, there,” the kid says to me, tipping back his corny trapper hat that looks like it’s made for a toddler.
“Where you from, man?” I ask as he stretches and checks the blade on his axe.
“Denver.”
“Nice... right in our backyard.”
“Yeah.”
