Page 98 of Replay
“Do I need to have a talk to the lad?” My dad looks around, his eyes narrow slits. “Is he here?”
“No, Dad. He’s not here. Relax. I don’t need anyone to talk to him…it just…didn’t work out.” My throat hurts with that painful thought as I plaster on a smile for them.
My mother sighs. “Well, I’m just happy to hear you’re finally dating again. If you found one, you can surely find another.”
“Mum, I’m not searching for my soul mate. It was just a casual thing.”
My parents both look crestfallen, but I don’t have time to nurture their broken hearts over my broken heart, so I drag them over to where Vaughn and Freya’s parents are seated at the proper grown-up table. Freya’s parents left at five o’clock this morning to be here for the shower, so I know she’s going to be thrilled to see them.
Finally, the time has come for Freya and Mac’s arrival, so I hurry everybody inside from the back garden, telling them all to hush, much to the children’s displeasure. Well, not all of them. Rocky and Sophia are actually holding my hands as we hear the front door open, and they decide we should crouch to brace for their entrance.
I frown when I hear no voices because Mac and Freya do nothing quietly. When the door to the kitchen opens, my heart lurches up into my throat because it’s not my brother and his wife coming in.
It’s Santino.
My legs turn to jelly as I take in the sight of him because I did not expect him to be here. He’s dressed in a crisp black suit with no tie. He’s left a few buttons open at the top of his white shirt, and his olive skin is on display, causing the spit in my mouth to dry up. His eyes almost instantly connect with mine, and we both freeze for a moment. I swear it feels like the entire universe is suspended in time as my heart thunders like tribal drums.
It feels like it’s been seconds and years since I’ve seen him all at the same time. His face has a haunted look about it, and his suit doesn’t hug him as tightly as it normally would.
Suddenly, I realise the entire room is staring at us, and our quiet moment is thwarted when Tanner bellows, “Get out of the way, Santino. Fuck!”
“Fuck!” one of the little toddlers repeats loudly, the sound echoing off the marble flooring.
Several voices begin chastising Tanner, and the kids all begin to giggle as they parrot the word their uncle just said. It’s a chorus of fucks echoing down the hall with no matter of control whatsoever.
Suddenly, Mac and Freya emerge through the kitchen door with wide, confused eyes. About half of us notice and yell, “Surprise!” It goes silent for a moment, and another child saysfuck!to fully punctuate the disaster of the moment.
I’m horrified.
“What’s going on?” Freya asks, looking adorable in a long floral maternity dress as she grips Mac’s arm and glances around curiously. “What’s the surprise?”
I step forward, Sophia and Rocky still gripping my hands like steel traps, and now it seems we’ve gained a train of a few of the other girls…Marisa, Bex, and Joey. “We’re throwing you guys a baby shower.” I smile brightly, and my face falls when Freya begins blubbering.
“Don’t cry!” I exclaim, glancing at my brother nervously, who…oh, for heaven’s sake…he’s crying too.
“I have to cry!” Freya proclaims, waving her hands in front of her red face. “I’m pregnant, and this is basically all I do now!”
“Fuck,” Mac growls, dabbing at his own eyes. “I’m not pregnant. I’m just touched.”
Everyone laughs at that, and guess what?
More fucks from the children.
Thank God this is a forgiving family.
The party begins mostly in the back garden, but people drift in and out for nibbles. The kids are all wild and at least partially contained in the bouncy castle while the adults enjoy the food and drink. I get the silly games going, doing my best to ignore Santino’s presence, which is easy because he seems to be avoiding me also.
The best game I organised involves the guys putting balloons under their shirts and racing to see who can tie their shoes the fastest. Of course, the Harris Brothers one-up my game idea and add football into the mix. Now, not only do they have to tie their shoes with the balloon under their belly, but they have to dribble a football across the garden and do a header into the goal before dropping on their bellies and popping their balloons.
It’s actually a little disturbing, and when I think about the fact that these are professional, highly-paid athletes running around with fake pregnant bellies while their father yells at them not to get injured, the entire scene takes on a life of its own. I end up nearly peeing myself from laughing so hard. Freya does pee herself. But it’s fine. The mummies all say it’s totally normal.
Iwasn’t prepared for many things today. I wasn’t prepared to stuff a balloon under my dress shirt. I wasn’t prepared for Tanner to challenge me to a goal post competition. I wasn’t prepared to go to a store and buy the first baby gift of my entire life. I got three cases of diapers because everything online said that was a sensible gift idea.
And I wasn’t prepared for how beautiful Tilly Logan would look today.
She looks even more stunning than when I saw her at that charity gala over two months ago. I can’t believe she can look so beautiful and so unaffected when I’ve been a wreck for eight days straight now.
It’s awful. My bed still smells like her because I refuse to change my sheets. My flat is still covered in items she left behind, a toothbrush, some clothes, a few stray photographs she thought I’d like of street art that I’ve yet to frame. I can’t bring myself to box up any of it. I would probably need to burn it all if I ever want to attempt to get Tilly out of my mind.
