Page 46 of Replay
I laugh and shake my head. “Well, he stopped me just before I was going to kiss him and said something like,‘I’d rather have you and know you’re mine, then have you and want you to be mine’.”
Her jaw drops. “I’ve just come.”
“Right?” My voice goes embarrassingly high at the end.
“So, let me get this straight.” Freya dunks her celery stalk into her dish of cream and points her finger at me. “You’ve been in London a month and you already have a boyfriend? If I wasn’t married and up the duff, I would truly loathe you.”
“He’s not a boyfriend.” I shake off that nerve-wracking thought. “It’s just…I don’t know. We’re dating, I guess? It’s going to be seriously complicated.”
“Why is that?”
I chew my lip nervously. “Well, we’re taking it slow because I haven’t slept with anyone since…” my voice trails off because it’s too hard to finish.
Freya’s hand moves protectively to her belly. “Since the miscarriage?”
I cringe as she states the word I hate the most. I hate it for so many reasons, but mostly, I hate it because I think I caused it. And that haunts me every day of my life.
“Oh Tilly.” Freya’s voice goes soft as she takes in my inner struggle.
She reaches out to touch my hand, but I pull it back quickly. “Don’t pity me, please. I hate pity. I’m good. I’m fine. I’m around you every day and not falling apart. I just…wasn’t ready to jump in the sack with him after…”
“Five whole years,” Freya states with wide eyes. “Makes sense. So, what did Santino say?”
“He said he was fine with it. He said taking it slow could be fun. We made out on his sofa for like an hour before I thought I should get home in case Mac was readying a search party.”
Freya sighs wistfully. “This sounds wonderful.”
I shrug. “I’m not getting my hopes up. I told Santino last night that I’m messy, and I will totally understand if he wants to cut and run.”
Freya shakes her head sadly at me. “Give yourself more credit, Tilly. You’ve done so much for yourself, and now you’re doing so much for me, and you’re accepting a big new job today. You’re far from messy. You’re annoyingly lovely if you ask me.”
“Thanks, Frey.” I muster up a smile I don’t altogether feel. “Hey, before we get to work selecting the final pet pieces for Harrods, would you mind if I haul that folding table stored in the hallway cubby up to my bedroom?”
“Not at all,” Freya exclaims around a fresh bite of celery. “We’re not using it for anything. What are you working on?”
“Well, I was thinking of unpacking my scrapbooking stuff. I came upon all these old photos I’d taken ages ago that never made it into a book, and I guess I’m suddenly feeling the itch to get them sorted.”
“By all means!” Freya replies, her eyes wide and excited. “I’m still waiting for the photo you gave me of Hercules’ twin to get back from the framers. I think it’ll look great here in the kitchen, don’t you?”
I laugh softly. “I told you that you didn’t need to frame it. It’s not a professional picture, just an old mobile shot.”
“Nonsense! I love it!” Freya tuts. “It will have a place of pride in this room. It will feel like Hercules is always watching over us.”
“With disdain,” I add flatly while taking a sip of my tea.
She giggles and then eyes me curiously. “What on earth could be inspiring your creative juices, I wonder?”
I grumble at her, but she’s saved by the bell when my mobile chirps beside me. I pull it up to see it’s a text from Santino, and Freya waves me off with a giddy smile.
I take my mobile out the back door into the garden and open the text.
Santino: Good morning.
Tilly: Hello to you.
Santino: You thinking about me?
Tilly: You wish.
