Page 71 of Keeper
His condom comment makes me wince. “Actually, we haven’t been using them.”
He gives me a hacked off look. “Poppet, riding withoot a saddle can be dangerous, even with someone ye ken really well.”
I wave him off. “I know he’s clean and I’m on the pill.”
“Still, those footy lads have super stamina and super sperm. Havenae ye heard of all those illegitimate wee ones bringing in big money for their wannabe WAG mummies. There are articles in the papers weekly.”
“I’m not one of them!” I nearly yell and then lower my voice when someone on a treadmill looks over at us.
“I ken, I’m just having a go at ye,” he chides.
I force a laugh and then a peculiar heaviness that I’ve been ignoring presses down on my shoulders. I haven’t had to sneak those tampons from my bedroom into the loo for quite some time. I had what was looking like the start of my period a couple days after Tanner and Belle’s wedding, but it never amounted to anything tampon-worthy. I figured since I had all the normal cramps and aches of a period, it was simply one of those off cycles.
However, Andrew’s concern awakens the little voice in the back of my head that I’ve been silencing because I don’t want to stop enjoying all my time with Booker.
“Why dae ye look like a fucking ghost right now?” Andrew drops his weight and thrusts his water bottle in my face. “Dae ye need a drink?”
I shake my head like a lunatic. “I’m fine. It’s nothing I’m sure.”
“Oh my God, yer bloody pregnant.” He drops down on his knees in front of me.
“Shut up!” I exclaim. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I dae. I have a sixth sense aboot these things.” His brown eyes are grave. “I thought ye were pregnant at the wedding, but I didnae want tae say.”
“I said shut up!” I shriek because I can’t help it.
“Fuck me, yewerepregnant at the wedding.” He thrusts a nervous hand through this hair and looks down at my belly.
“Would you quit? You are not some pregnancy whisperer. Just…stop saying so many words and let me think.” I press my hands to my temples, resting my elbows on my knees. This can’t be happening. I’ve been on the same pills since I came back from Germany. They are some German brand, but a pill is a pill, right? Some periods are lighter than others. It’s nothing to worry about.
I cringe as I think back to how I struggled to communicate with the doctor in Germany. My German was not great and they’d said if I went back, there’d be an English-speaking doctor. But I didn’t want to go back. I’d just met Nigel and was ready to let loose. I struggled through the communication barrier throughout the entire appointment, but “nein baby” is pretty much a universal phrase. I assumed the doctor knew what I was there for. I’ve never even looked that closely at the pill package, even after I became fluent, because I always used condoms.
Fuck me. Was that a period I had two weeks ago or not?
“Verfickte Scheiße!” I curse in German through clenched teeth because it feels like the language might be to blame if this all goes tits-up.
Andrew stands up with me, but my knees are wobbling so much, he has to steady me in his big arms. His voice is firm when he says, “Right. That’s it. I’m nipping off tae the shop and we’re figuring this oot right now. We need tae ken if yer with child.”
“With child?” I bark. “What is this,Game of Thrones? We don’t need to know if I’mwith childbecause I’m not taking a test!” I snap. Taking a test would confirm what I feel in my core might be true. And if I don’t take the test, we can keep doing what we’re doing, being the new and improved Booker and Poppy. I force my hysteria down and smile. “I’ll wait another week. My period will come. It’s just peculiar this month.”
Andrew side-eyes me. “Are yer cycles normally peculiar?”
I swallow hard. “Sometimes.”
He sees right through me. “Yer taking a test.”
Two hours later, tears prick the backs of my eyes as I sit on the bathroom floor in Andrew’s flat staring at two positive pregnancy tests.
“Just as I suspected,” Andrew states, his voice grim. “Yer up the duff. I could see it in yer breasts.”
“This can’t be happening.” My voice feels like gravel in my throat.
“It’s happening all right. These tests are highly accurate,” Andrews says, looking at the back of the pamphlet that came in the box. “Especially considering how late ye are. The accuracy only goes up.”
“But this isn’t how it should be.” I can’t stop shaking my head. This will change everything. I finally got Booker to be with me. This will send him over the edge.
“Life doesnae always give a fuck aboot yer plans, Pop.”
