Page 7 of Dead Serious with Benefits
“Oh,” I shook my head, clearing it to focus on the conversation. I loved my family, but even they weren’t immune to my reluctance to share what was going on in my head sometimes. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust people. Well, I suppose it had something to do with trust, but I could never place where that mistrust existed in me, or why, not when it came to my family. Then again, there were still some things that should be shared, natural reluctance or not. “I was thinking about all of us, but Dom and I stuck out the most.”
Dom glanced at me, and his eyes swept over me. I could see him trying to make the comparison. “Like what?”
“You and I...” Was it right to bring up his past so openly? I glanced around, aware we were within earshot of dozens of people. I wasn’t comfortable putting his personal business on stage, even if it was my analysis of that business.
Dom huffed, rotating a finger in a clear sign to hurry up. “What about us?”
I relaxed slightly, though I still felt uncomfortable speaking so openly. “Both of us lost...quite a lot when we were younger.”
Dom’s nose wrinkled. “I think comparing the two of us is a little unfair…to you. My mom and dad dying is one thing, but?—”
He trailed off, clearly uncomfortable as he shifted from one foot to the other. Moira’s face was stiffer than usual as she cocked a brow at Dom, but she said nothing. I repressed a sigh as I looked between them.
“There’s no need to act awkward,” I said softly, not going into detail. There was a reason I didn’t freely share what happened in my childhood when even my siblings acted awkwardly at the subject being brought up. “My point was that we both lost a great deal of security and safety when we were kids.”
Moira glanced my way and snorted. “Dom’s right, that’s downplaying things for you. I think you’d be more comparable to Jace.”
I thought about the few things I’d learned from the man about his childhood and nodded. “That...makes more sense.”
“Sorry,” she said, ducking her head. “You had a point.”
“My point was that for us, even Elijah, you and Mason to an extent, losing something so important makes things...different. It’s easier to see what we have and be grateful, knowing we could have so much worse.”
“So...Micah is ungrateful?”
I blinked. “No, though I suppose it could be put that way. I just meant that he’s had a solid family life, an odd family, but stable. There have been additions and changes, but nothing...subtracted.”
Dom snorted. “Kid lacks perspective.”
“Which I call a win,” I said with a smile.
“How do you figure?”
“I’ve heard people say every good parent wants better for their children than they had.”
Moira snorted. “Of course.”
“Then in thirteen years, you’ve managed that. He lacks the perspective to understand what he has because he’s been given so much security and happiness. I don’t believe a childneedsto lose a parent, or...go through something similar in their childhood as Jace and I did,” I added to prevent them from bringing that back up. “Maybe you could say his behavior is the product of an ungrateful brat. But I say it’s the behavior of a kidgoing through a lot, because we all remember being a teenager enough to remember how hard their life can be, but also because he’s comfortable. A kid who’s willing to fight back is either dealing with a lot or comfortable enough to express themselves without fear of punishment.”
Moira thought about that for a moment before shaking her head. “So he’s being a little asshole because he’s had a good life?”
“Because he feels he can express himself,” I said with a shrug. “It’s just a thought. I’m no expert.”
Moira glanced at the ceiling thoughtfully, clearly thinking of Jace and Micah. “Then maybe...it is good Jace is dealing with him. We can say what we want about Mason’s relationship with him, but...between that and his time around us, he’s calmed down and has gained a little perspective. And he’s always been good with Micah. Maybe my son needs to deal with someone who’s had a life that’s unimaginable to him, get some perspective from someone who won’t take his shit but knows enough about how to be hard and rough, actually to be kind.”
“Could be worse,” Dom said with a shrug and grin. “Remember how much of a fucker I was at that age?”
Moira sighed. “I thought Mom would end up joining Dad with the gray hairs you and Mason gave her. Him because he was always getting into trouble, and you couldn’t stay out of a fight. I’m pretty sure she wrote Mason off as a lost cause and is happy to leave Jace to deal with it,” Moira said with a laugh. “My brother and my ex...that’s still weird as hell to think about, but I also know both of them really well, so I don’t know which one to feel the most sympathy for.”
All three of us glanced at the bar, and Mason, hunched over, his phone in hand, tapping away, made me smile. “I can’t be sure, but I’d say he’s checking in on Jace.”
“Checking if Micah is alive?” Moira asked wryly and then sighed. “No, he’s being a big softy and making sure Jace is okay.”
“You think?” Dom wondered, cocking his head.
“Are you questioning whether I know Mason that well?” Moira scoffed.
It was more than that, but I kept my mouth shut not to embarrass her. Moira presented herself as a reasonable, practical person who wasn’t prone to relying on emotions. Yet she was like Mason in that. I was delighted when the phrase ‘emotional intelligence’ entered the scene recently.
