Page 27 of Letting Go of Yesterday
‘Are you always this self-effacing? I don’t remember you being like that when we were kids; from what I can recall you were confident, some might even say cocky.’ She grinned as he pretended to look offended.
‘Wow, that’s an arrow to the heart. There I was hoping you’d never got over the fact that we didn’t get a chance to see where that kiss might have led, and you thought I was cocky?’ He shook his head slowly, but he couldn’t disguise his smile and it was her turn to ask him something.
‘Are you trying to tell me you never got over it?’
‘I never forgot you, Rowan Adams and I was desperate to ask you out properly after that first kiss. I wanted to know if things between us might actually go somewhere, but then everything happened and almost overnight you were gone. We’ve both changed a lot since then, life has a way of doing that to you, but this is our second chance to see where this might go and everyone deserves one of those, don’t they?’
Her eyes met his and she knew this wasn’t just about them finally going out on a date, he wanted to know if she believed he deserved a second chance in a far wider sense.
‘Of course they do, as long as?—’
‘Right, it’s time to say a few big thank yous.’ The voice booming across the loud speaker system and cutting Rowan off sounded vaguely familiar and, when she looked up, she realised it was Gwen Jones standing next to Nathan’s mother. ‘Will, Heather and Nathan, we need you up here for this too, where are you?’
As Gwen scanned the crowd, Nathan caught hold of Rowan’s arm. ‘What was it you were going to say about second chances? As long as what?’
His question sounded urgent, but people were gesturing at him to move to where his brother and sister-in-law were now standing, next to Irene and Gwen.
‘It doesn’t matter now, just go up and take some well-deserved praise, you’ve earned it.’ He tried to protest again, but then Will walked over and grabbed him by the wrist, giving him no choice but to take his place at the front of the crowd.
Gwen was a natural at public speaking and listed off all the people they needed to thank for such a magnificent fundraiser, as well as the winners in each of the race categories. Theo had flushed with delight when his name had been called out and Rowan wasn’t sure she’d ever felt more proud of him. Gwen saved the biggest thanks for the organisers of the event, including Nathan, and a cheer rose up from the crowd as each name was announced. Rowan glanced in his direction, trying to gauge Nathan’s response to the obvious approval of so many people, but he just looked as if he didn’t want to be there. After she’d finished the official business, Gwen handed the microphone to Irene who told the assembled crowd that being a grandmother had saved her when she lost her husband, and how ‘holding her baby’s baby in her arms’ had changed everything, and that all she wanted was for Leo to have the chance to experience all the same milestones. Rowan had already had to blink back tears, even before the microphone was handed to Heather.
‘Thank you all for coming. Will and I just want to echo everything Gwen has said about the brilliant volunteers for this event, especially my amazing brother-in-law, Nathan, whose idea this whole thing was. We’re also incredibly grateful to Gwen, who has taken on the role of treasurer for the event to make sure that all the money collected gets to the charity as soon as possible.’ The wobble in Heather’s voice had been obvious, but as she took a deep breath her eyes filled with tears. ‘Most of you know our son, Leo, and when he was born all we wanted was for our baby to be healthy. At first we thought we’d got that, but as the first couple of years went by, we realised that he wasn’t like other children. He was special in so many ways, but one of those ways turned all our lives upside down. The reason this work is so important is that it helps children like him… it helps children like him to…’
She repeated the last part of the sentence and furiously wiped her eyes, but it was clear the emotion of the moment was becoming too much for her and she folded herself into Will’s arms, thrusting the microphone towards Nathan as she did.
‘You can see how much this means to my brother and sister-in-law. Leo is their whole world and, if you’ve met him you’ll understand just how special he is. The best way any of us have of helping Leo and other children with muscular dystrophy to have long, active and happy futures is to support the research currently being undertaken, so that one day children like Leo will be able to run in events like this, or race down the beach into the sea and their families will be able to plan for their future just as they would with any other child. Leo is an incredible boy, capable of so much and, like Mum said, all we want is for him to grow up and have the chance to fulfil his potential. If you haven’t already given by sponsoring our runners, buying tickets for the children’s events, or purchasing food and drink from any of the caterers donating their profits to the cause, then please consider making a direct donation to the charity, the link to which is on our Facebook page:Leo’s Lions. Let’s have one more big cheer for Leo.’ Nathan looked across to where his nephew was sitting, Theo still at his side, and Rowan felt weighed down by melancholy, her own worries suddenly ridiculously small and her heart breaking for Leo and the family who adored him. Nathan had been very careful to avoid using any terms that might scare the little boy, like the mention of death or further deterioration of his condition, but it was there in the subtext, in a way that would be easy for any moderately informed adult to pick up on. The research into muscular dystrophy was vital and Leo, and children like him, deserved all the support in the world.
Right now, the little boy was waving at the crowd who had responded to Nathan’s request for one more cheer with huge enthusiasm, and Theo was grinning again too. She wondered if either of the boys had any understanding of Leo’s prognosis, or how quickly his disease might start to progress. The language used in the speeches seemed to Rowan to have been deliberately vague, but she had no idea how she’d have handled it if Leo had been her child. If he asked whether he was going to die, would his parents be honest with him? She didn’t know, because there was no right answer. This shouldn’t be happening at all. It wasn’t right, and it was impossible to imagine herself in that scenario because it was far too painful to contemplate. What Nathan had said was so true though, Leo and his familyshouldbe able to look to the future and know it was going to come. It might not be promised to anyone, but most people lived with the expectation that it would. Leo’s parents had to live with the very real possibility that their son wouldn’t make it to adulthood and that the years before that would be filled with challenges no child should have to endure. Losing a child wasn’t a prospect any parent should have to face and, as difficult as the last year had been for Rowan, it was nothing in comparison to what Leo and his family had to deal with.
‘Are you okay?’ Bex gave Rowan an appraising look when she went to find her a few minutes later. ‘You look like you’re about to burst into tears.’
‘It’s just Leo. It’s so unfair. There ought to be a cure, or something they can do to slow things down, he’s such a great kid.’ A tear rolled down her face, but her throat was burning from holding back a thousand more. She wanted to sob and rage against a world where this could be allowed to happen, but she couldn’t do that, not when Leo was only about thirty feet away from her, with a huge smile still plastered on his face. She had a reputation to keep too. People expected her to be calm and professional, and she’d never been the sort to show her feelings in public anyway. It gave people far too much to talk about and an insight into her emotions she didn’t want anyone else to have, because it made her far too vulnerable. In the wake of her husband’s affair coming to light, she’d never once shown her emotions in public, even when she’d felt like she was dying inside. Yet now here she was, with raw emotion dangerously close to the surface and she had to gulp air like a dying fish to stop herself from sobbing.
‘You’re right, he is a great kid and we’ve got to have hope.’ Bex squeezed her waist, seeming to realise that a full-on hug would have pushed her over the edge. ‘That’s why fundraising events like this are so important and it’s why Nathan set Leo’s Lions up, to give them all hope.’
‘Or to line his own pockets.’ Rowan recognised the man who’d just interjected into their conversation without invitation. His daughter, Milly Harwood, was in Year 4. Rowan knew she shouldn’t react to his comment and that she had to stay professional, but the sadness that had been welling up inside her seemed to have turned to white hot anger, and that was far harder to control.
‘You should be very careful what you accuse people of, Mr Harwood.’ She narrowed her eyes and there was an edge to her voice she barely recognised. Even when she was using her ‘headteacher’ tone, it never sounded quite as unforgiving as this.
‘Why? He’s got form for it, and you have to wonder why he does all of this.’ Mr Harwood gestured around him. ‘You can’t tell me he’s not pocketing some of the money.’
‘Gwen Jones oversees all the finances so that would never happen.’ Bex was the first to reply, but Rowan was right behind her, with an even more forceful response, one she seemed to have absolutely no control over.
‘How dare you accuse Nathan of something like that, when it’s obvious to anyone that he adores Leo and would do anything for him. But you’d rather ignore the evidence and judge him for one thing, wouldn’t you, Mr Harwood? Well, I hope you’ve never made a mistake you want to move on from, but if you have, I hope no one gives you an opportunity to do that, because you clearly don’t believe anyone deserves a second chance. No matter how hard they work and how obvious it is that they’re a good person, most people never do anything as amazing as the things Nathan has achieved today. Still, you can just go home and polish your halo, can’t you? Safe in the knowledge that you’ve never done a thing wrong in your entire life. The school will just have to work extra hard to teach your daughter that kind people show forgiveness to others.’
It was as if the version of Rowan she’d pushed down for years had suddenly come busting out and, even if she wanted to, she didn’t think there was any way she could have stopped herself. The colour seemed to have drained from Mr Harwood’s face; his mouth was moving but for a moment nothing seemed to come out, until he finally said just two words, before scuttling away and disappearing into the crowd of people still milling around the harbour.
‘I’m sorry.’
Bex looked at Rowan for a moment and then started to laugh. ‘That was brilliant, absolutely bloody brilliant.’
‘Was it? I think I might just have lost my job.’ Rowan blinked a couple of times, just to check that she was awake and that all of that had really happened.
‘Okay, what are you laughing at? What have I missed?’ Toni suddenly emerged from the crowd, but all Rowan could do was shake her head.
‘Our amazing headteacher just tore a strip off one of the parents for accusing Nathan of setting this whole thing up to scam money out of people.’
‘That is pretty amazing, and from the woman who wouldn’t even have a drink in public in case someone saw her. On that basis, I might have to upgrade what you just did to legendary.’ This was high praise indeed from Toni, a woman who wasn’t known for using any kind of superlative.
