Page 12 of Letting Go of Yesterday
‘Do you want to sit on the blanket or stay in your chair?’ Nathan spread the picnic blanket out on the sand as he spoke and tried not to think how much more difficult it would be to give Leo the options everyone took for granted, once he got too big for his uncle to lift him in and out of the chair. Most children with Duchenne’s muscular dystrophy didn’t need a wheelchair until they were about twelve or thirteen, but the previous Christmas Leo had fallen down the stairs at his maternal grandparents’ home in Scotland and the accident had accelerated the deterioration of the muscles in his legs. Despite physiotherapy, he could only walk short distances with the aid of a frame and it had been his decision to use a wheelchair, which in many ways had given him his mobility back. What would happen as he got older was a problem for another day; for now Leo could choose where he wanted to sit.
‘I’ll stay in the chair; I don’t want to get sand in my bum crack!’ Leo laughed in that wonderfully infectious way he had and there was no chance of Nathan not joining in, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Leo was seven, nearly eight, but he often seemed decades older because of everything he’d had to face in life, so it was brilliant to see him being the cheeky little schoolboy he was supposed to be.
‘No one wants sand in there.’ Nathan pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing again.
‘I definitely don’t.’ Leo grinned and then suddenly gestured up the beach. ‘I know that boy. He came into our classroom to see if he wants to come to our school, just before we broke up for the summer.’
Nathan turned towards where Leo was looking and saw Rowan and her mother walking down the beach with two children. One of them was a boy who looked to be about Leo’s age, which must have been Theo, and the other was a girl, a couple of years older at least.
Nathan had heard about Rowan’s wedding and the birth of her children on the village grapevine, and he’d felt certain that marrying a vicar would more or less guarantee her marriage lasting forever, but now she was back for good and all sorts of rumours about why would no doubt be circulating. He just hoped she was doing okay.
When he’d heard Rowan’s name mentioned over the years, he’d sometimes allowed himself to wonder what might have happened between them if she hadn’t moved away so suddenly. But there were a million what-ifs in life and he’d put any thoughts of Rowan to the back of his mind when he’d been married to Nicole. Except looking at her on the beach now, that night up on the cliffs came rushing back into his mind, and he had to physically shake himself to dislodge the thought. Rowan wouldn’t be interested in him, even if he hadn’t sworn off getting seriously involved with anyone again. His family were all that mattered and the few people who’d stuck by them after his sentencing. It was a smaller circle than he’d had before, but he loved every person in it and that counted for far more than a big group of people who had never really been there for him.
‘Shall we call them over to say hello? I think it’ll be really nice for him if he’s got a friend when he starts at school, especially when everyone already knows each other.’
‘He might not want to be friends with me.’ Leo lowered his eyes and Nathan’s heart constricted. He’d never been a violent person and had kept his head down in prison, avoiding any kind of confrontation if he possibly could, because physical altercations weren’t his style. But the thought of anyone rejecting Leo or making him feel like he wasn’t worthy made Nathan’s blood rush through his veins. Not long after Leo had started using the wheelchair, a group of lads in their twenties had slowed down their car as they’d passed, rolling down the window and shouting a word that Nathan couldn’t even bear to say out loud. He’d broken into a run, chasing the car down the road and only coming to his senses when he realised that he’d left Leo on his own. Nathan had always hated bullying of any kind and, when it came to defending his nephew, he knew he could be capable of almost anything and sadly he understood why Leo was afraid of rejection.
Rowan’s son wouldn’t be a bully, though. Somehow Nathan knew it with absolute certainty. Most people were good and kind, and they lived in a community that had rallied around Will and Heather for the most part, donating to fundraising causes, like the half marathon Nathan had organised. People looked out for Leo, and the parish council had voted unanimously to assign funds to purchasing accessible equipment for the play park. Volunteers from the PTA were helping out at the school and most of the other pupils seemed to love Leo for the wonderful kid he was. It was what had made Nathan fall in love with Port Agnes again and feel able to continue to call it his home, despite the way some people had reacted after his release from prison. As long as they treated Leo the way he deserved, Nathan didn’t care what they thought about him.
‘Of course Theo will want to be your friend and I bet he’ll be thrilled you want to be his.’ Nathan put a hand on his nephew’s shoulder.
‘How do you know that’s his name and that he’ll want to be friends with me?’ There was still a slight wobble in Leo’s voice and Nathan wished he could make his nephew believe that anyone would be lucky to have him as a friend.
‘Theo’s mum told me his name. Me and your dad used to be friends with her when we were at school. She’s lovely, and I bet her kids are too. It must be hard for them, moving here and starting somewhere new. They haven’t lived near the beach before.’ A grin tugged at the corners of Nathan’s mouth as he looked at his nephew again. ‘And Theo will need someone to warn him about the importance of keeping sand out of his bum crack.’
Leo giggled. ‘Okay then, I better tell him.’
‘Rowan!’ Nathan called out her name before Leo could change his mind and she looked up and smiled. Her long auburn hair hung around her shoulders in loose waves and from this distance it was almost as if she hadn’t aged a day since she’d moved out of Port Agnes. As she got closer, he could the differences, but time had been kind rather than cruel. Her cheek bones were more prominent and there was just the hint of laughter lines around her hazel eyes, indicating a side he hadn’t seen to Rowan since her return. She’d been friendly enough when they’d chatted at the school, but there’d been a definite air of melancholy about her too. Looks wise, she might be instantly recognisable as the girl he used to know, but her spirit was nowhere near as vibrant and the thought of that made him sad. Still, he seemed to remember that she’d been quite quiet when she’d first started at secondary school. So maybe this version of her was closer to the real Rowan than the far more sparky and confident girl who’d kissed him on the night of the golden jubilee. In a way he hoped it was, because he hated the thought that life might have robbed that spark from her instead. He knew what it was like for life events to change everything, and he was only just starting to feel a bit more like his old self, two years down the line.
‘Hi Nathan, good to see you again.’ Rowan was still smiling when she reached them. ‘And you must be Leo? I’ve heard a lot about you.’
‘Uncle Nathan said you went to school with him and Dad, a really, really long time ago.’ Leo gave her an earnest look and Rowan burst out laughing.
‘I didn’t say anything about it being a really, really long time ago.’ Nathan held up his hands in protest.
‘But we can both admit itwasan awfully long time ago.’ She exchanged a look with him, her eyes twinkling, and he could see that old spirit of hers was still in there somewhere after all. ‘This is my son, Theo, who is going to be in your class and my daughter, Bella, who’ll be in Year 6.’
‘Hi.’ Leo’s shyness seemed to have crept back in and he dipped his head as he spoke.
‘Hi Leo. Your wheelchair is really cool; does it go in the sea?’ Theo had the sort of brilliant directness, with absolutely no ill intention, that only children really seemed to possess.
‘Yes, it can go anywhere and I never have to worry about stepping on a jellyfish.’ Leo grinned.
‘I hate jellyfish.’ Bella gave a shudder.
‘But you both love the idea of hanging out at the beach a lot more often, don’t you?’ The children nodded in response to Rowan’s question and started asking Leo more about what kind of sea creatures he’d seen. As they chatted, moving slightly away from the adults to look at some of the shells that were mixed up with the sand, Rowan turned towards Nathan. ‘You already know my mum, don’t you?’
‘Of course, good to see you, Katrina. How’s the line dancing going?’
‘I’m not a patch on your mum yet, but I’ll get there. I’ve just got to take every chance I can to practise.’ Katrina gave a brief demonstration of the grapevine step as if to prove her point, before turning to look at her daughter. ‘Nathan’s mum, Irene, goes to the same class as me and Marion. Irene and Ruth, you know, the one who runs Mehenick’s Bakery with her husband, are Nicky’s star pupils. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.’
‘It sounds like you all have a great time and that’s the main thing,’ Rowan said.
‘You two should join us.’ Katrina looked from Rowan to Nathan and back again. ‘I know your dad or Dean would be happy to have the kids.’
‘Thanks, Mum, but I’m not sure it’s my thing and I can almost guarantee it’s not Nathan’s.’
‘I might be tempted if I’m allowed to wear a Stetson and some cowboy boots.’
