Page 113 of The Leaves In Autumn
“Hey! You are starting your new adventure! No time for tears. This is the first day of the most exciting time of your life.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re just having normal doubts. It’s a little scary making such a big change. But it’s what you have been dreaming about forever. It’s okay, Sister.”
“I know. I’m just sentimental for some reason.”
“You had lots of good times in that house and here in Montana. Everything you know is here. That’s why I give you big props for walking toward something new. It’s going to be wonderful. I know it!”
“It’s not the house!”
I say it a little too forcefully, then let it go, because there is no fighting the tears anymore. I used up all my strength and will saying goodbye to Aargon.
“No? What then?”
She is not shocked. And she knows perfectly well what the tears are for. Who they are for. Why would she be. Out of all the people who know me, she knows me best.
“Don’t you tell anyone I was crying!”
“I’m not going to. Geez. Talk to me. Is it all about Aargon?”
I don’t verbally confirm what she knows, but the fact my crying increases when she says his name does.
“So, does he know?”
“No!”
“Okay, okay. It is obvious to us all that he feels the same for you. How the hell have you spent so much time together without talking about it?”
“It’s a talent of ours.”
“Apparently.”
“And despite everyone’s uninformed opinions, I don’t even know if he feels the same. I know he likes me. He likes me a lot. But it may end there. He let me go without much of a fight.”
“Ohhhhhhhhh,” I say, releasing the tension.
In the rearview mirror, the driver’s eyes find me. Then just as quickly look away. I don’t give a shit if he hears it all.
“That isn’t fair, Barbra. He was up against your “dream”,” she says, putting quotes to the word. “I would have thought he was a dick to deny you that. And you would have too. Admit it.”
“I guess. Nothing seems clear now.”
“Let me ask you this. Do you love him? Is it love we’re talking about? Or are you deeply in lust? In which case, I say you will get over it.”
I take out my big hanky and blow my nose. That was my napkin-wash rag backup for the plane. Shit.
“It’s love. But don’t you say that to anyone! I mean it!”
“Shit. Don’t you know by now, we are in the circle of trust? You forget I know where the bodies are buried! You don’t have to say that a hundred times!”
I chuckle a little and she does too.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m going to look like shit getting on my flight.”
Layla listens to my concern and follows the instruction. But I know her. She is thinking. Plotting. I hope she comes up with something.
* * *
