Page 119 of The Leaves In Autumn
“I’m so happy for you.”
“It looks like it.”
He grabs my hand and squeezes it hard.
“This is love. Not sadness. I am going to miss you.”
He covers his eyes with the napkin.
“Me too, Aargon. But I’d rather be lonely for you than think you haven’t known this kind of happiness. God bless you, son.”
She nestles into my side and leans her head on my shoulder.
“Love you both so much.”
“You’re going to be there a long time, aren’t you?”
“I think so. I don’t really know. But I want to be with her. If it is in another country, so be it. We can come for visits, and you can visit us.”
“What an adventure you will be on. It’s fabulous. Really,” Mom says, a tear streaming down her cheek. Dad reaches across the table and pats it away.
“I’ve never been on an adventure before. Not one like this. Forty-eight seems like the right time.”
“Barbra will be the guide. And just think of the things you’ll see together.”
Mom looks at Dad and there is a knowing in their faces. And a little longing for times past.
CHAPTER 38
Barbra
Seven forty-five. Oh no! Here it comes. I need to poop again. I take the iPad and half walk, half run to the bathroom. Everything here is smaller than what I am used to. Little hallway, tiny bedroom, barely there kitchen. And this bathroom. I can open my arms and touch both walls. I love it. If I wanted the familiar, I would have stayed in Montana.
Except for Aargon. He is in a category apart. I would love to have become familiar with everything about him. Maybe now, there is a sliver of a chance I will. The messages and the emails he started to send, have changed how I am looking at things. I would choose to do it exactly as we have, just to be able to have these letters for life. No lost boxes, flood, or fire will ever take them from me I can read and reread every nuance.
He doesn’t come out and say it, but between the lines, I see the heart of things. If it all comes to pieces tomorrow, I will know he loved me, without ever having heard the words. He reveals in letters, what he couldn’t in person, about how our friendship has evolved. Last week he compared our relationship to the evolution of man. We started as Neanderthals and stood straighter each year. He said this year, this month, today, we will stand upright. Oh my God! Is that the most romantic thing I have ever heard? Or am I the most delusional thirsty woman ever born? Nope. It isn’t that one.
The sound of a call shocks me and I jump an inch off the toilet. Crap! Literally. One tiny turd plops in the water. Why is he early? Damn man! Can’t get off now. Quickly, I angle the iPad so nothing of the porcelain goddess can be seen. I twist my body so I am sitting sideways on the throne. In the background is just lovely wallpaper I hope passes. It could be any random wall in any other room.
I look at my face on the screen and smooth the out of place lock of hair. Other than the fact I am in the midst of pooping, I look pretty good. Sliding my finger to the right, his smiling face appears. I melt and forget every hesitation felt a few seconds ago.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
We are too happy to lead with more. I think our expressions say it all anyway. I just want to look at him. And if I must guess, he feels the same about me. He touches his heart. We are two children who have a secret.
“I see you are in the bathroom.”
“How do you know that?”
“You told me about the wallpaper. Said it had bouquets of miniature roses.”
“Want me to call back? This isn’t very appealing!”
“No. It’s fine as long as I don’t hear strange noises. That would be a turn-off.”
Now I am laughing. A little pee comes out.
