Page 48 of The Sky in Summer
“As we get older, I think you start to see things flow both ways. Sometimes they need us to sacrifice for them when they have so many responsibilities. I don’t know. That’s just my opinion. I’ve never been a dad, but I’ve been a son for almost forty years.”
I let it rest. That’s enough.
“Do I look okay? Can you tell?”
Tyler doesn’t have to add the word cry. He knows I saw.
“Splash some water on your face, give it a few minutes, and it will be fine. See you out there.”
I grab Layla’s sweater that she did not ask for from the arm of the chair, and I head outside.
The fireworks are popping off in a one hundred and eighty degree spectacle.
“Ohhh!” The collective response sounds.
“Here. You needed your sweater.”
“No,” she says, looking confused.
“It was a ruse. Tyler needed a friend. Just go with it.”
Instead of asking for details, Layla nods and folds the sweater next to her. Then a smile appears.
“You are a nicer man than you know,” she whispers, leaning in.
“You hardly know me though. I could still be a raging asshole.”
She pauses for a few beats.
“You asked me once if I wanted to look at what you were hiding. Is it still on the table?”
“Of course it is.”
“I want to look, Van. To really look. I want toknowyou. And I want you to know me. Even if it’s strictly for friendship’s sake. Let’s get into the mud.”
Over the next few weeks, we waded through the layers of our lives with every phone call and every meeting. After making love we’d talk. In between all the minutia of our days, we heard stories that had a meaningful impact. The details of our lives. Who we are, what we believe, what shaped us.
We spoke about the new job. I told her about the apartment in Paris, and how my grandmother had left the property to her grandchildren. I was the only one who wanted to keep it, so I bought my siblings out. I had to sell my two properties in Montana to swing it.
She liked hearing about the changes to make it right for me. One man in an environment fashioned for him alone. Modern, sparse, with a cool vibe.
Layla didn’t hesitate with her enthusiasm. I didn’t pick up any reservations in her voice. In fact, there was excitement for the adventure I am about to embark on. She was genuinely happy for me. Does it bother her at all that I will be gone in a few months? I care too much about that sticking point. It’s what I’ve always wanted. A woman who floats her own boat and doesn’t need me to satisfy every need.
But tonight, as we talk, I’m hearing her interesting story. It is more about emotional touchstones than mine was. While I was directed by my own visions of life as a bachelor, she was moved by love.
“You two met at college? In Colorado?”
“Yeah. We bonded over the fact he was from Montana. We had both been born near Billings.”
“And you fell in love.”
“Yes. He brought me back here to meet his family, and I remembered how much the place meant to me. Although I had left at five, it had made its mark.”
“I get that. I have never known another spot that equals it.”
“I had no reservations about moving back after graduation. Ken has a big extended family like you.”
“What did your family think of that?”
