Page 19 of The Sky in Summer
“What a pervert,” I say, observing the scenario.
“Perversion isn’t my thing. I just support our troops. Soldiers need love too.”
“How patriotic. Unfortunately, that won’t help you here.”
“This is going to be a breeze. For me of course. Not you. The female sex is just physically weaker. It’s not my doing. Take it up with God.”
“Why would I? She made up for it with our superior reasoning and ability to endure pain.”
“Watch and learn, smartass.”
“Your confidence is about to be derailed,” I say. Secretly I am not entirely sure of myself.
“Here’s my phone. Time me,” he orders, jumping up and down as if he is beginning a track event.
“Warming up?” I chuckle.
“Laugh all you want, woman. I am about to school you.”
I set the stopwatch.
“Okay, we have to transverseeveryobstacle. Like a downhill racer. No skipping any one of them or we have to start again.”
“Understood.”
“Ready? Set? Go!!”
He takes off, passing the Toy Story figures with ease. It’s the next obstacle that gives him trouble. That isn’t strictly true. Not sure what threw him off-kilter, but he goes down hard, landing on a troop of little, hard, green soldiers. Their pointy guns, aimed at the sky, hit their mark.
“Ow! I got bayoneted in the balls!”
There is a long moan that sounds very close to a cry.
Not wanting to make light of his injury, I attempt sounding properly serious.
“Oh no! What should I do?” I call through the tequila haze.
“Want me to tell you?”
The way he says it sarcastically, through clenched teeth, makes me start laughing. Which makes him laugh through the pain.
“What the fuck should I do, she says.”
From the fetal position, he rolls over onto his back and slowly makes his way upright. I walk to his side.
“Seriously, are you okay?” I ask, not sure what I would do if he said no.
“I’m fine. Whose fucking idea was this?”
I slap him on the arm.
“Toughen up, buttercup. You are in the Olympics, after all. Unless this a forfeit?”
I get the drunken stink-eye followed by his nose in the air.
“Think again, devil woman. I’m not finished with my run. Stand aside and be prepared to be amazed with my speed. Count me down.”
He stands ready for a speedy take off. Ha. The stopwatch is still running. He’s got to be at five minutes at least.
