Page 79 of Royal Pain
Chapter 27
Zan
“You didn’t need to see me off. I know you have to practice your speech.”
I give her the ‘you’ve got to be kidding look’, which consists of a crooked smile and a shake of my head.
“I’m taking you to the airport. Get over it, beautiful.”
The thirty minute drive is one I both love and hate. We get to go through the verdant hills and valleys but it means she’s leaving. Being with Belinda, waking up and going to sleep with her, has become a sweet routine. When she’s gone I feel different. Less settled.
When we’re together it’s all the small things that make me happy to be alive. It starts with the mornings. If I’m lucky enough to wake up first, I watch her face. Right before she begins to awaken, her bottom lip does this thing. It sort of pushes out like a pout. At first I wondered what dream was creating the effect. But after a while I understood it was just her way. I’ve kissed that lip, the mouth, and the rest of her awake many times, but not nearly enough to grow used to it.
But if I hold off, there’s another show. With eyes still closed, she throws back the covers. The cool air touching her warm skin. Thank all the gods and some of the more mischievous saints, for allowing me this sight.
Knowing she will be my wife is more than I ever really imagined. To be fair, getting married itself was off my radar. Then I looked at Belinda. It’s funny how quickly a man can dump his hard held beliefs about himself. That’s the effect of a woman.Thewoman.
Now I’m in this new strange place. Nothing has changed except for everything. The job and my station will remain the same. The appearances and speeches will go on. But I’ll be a married man, and from this point on it will be the prince and princess. She will be Her Royal Highness the Princess of Mozia. But I will not be king.
That distinction will buy us so much more freedom. She won’t have to be present at every official visit, or state dinner. We will be able to spend blocks of time in New York. I know more about the surface of the moon than I know about being married. Yet I want to be her husband. But I will not be king.
Soon mother will slip into her new role easily and with Kwai in his position and I as her advisor, Mozians will hardly notice a difference. But I will not be king.
Get it out of your mind!Shit, man, it’s a done deal. The queen is about to address the country, and there will be no going back. I check my watch. Another half hour and it will be done.
All this time while I’ve been lost in my thoughts, Belinda’s been lost in hers. I just noticed her staring out the window, but she isn’t looking at the traffic. She’s in that space between eye and object. Deep thought.
“We’ve got a detour,” Chudda says. “It’s going to add some time.”
Good. Maybe she’ll miss the flight.
“Where are you?” I say, rubbing her hand.
“Oh. Sorry. I was far away, honey.”
“Come back. We only have a few more minutes.”
I pull her to me, and we hold each other as if we’re never going to be together again. She’s very quiet. Do tapes play in her mind? Wait. What if she’s second-guessing the whole thing? Not that she loves me. Or even that she wants to marry me. Maybe she’s realizing for the first time, just what she’s getting into.
King or not, Her Majesty or princess, it’s going to change her life immeasurably. Fuck that’s what’s happening. She wants out.
I’m distracted by the turn into the district we just took. It’s one of the poorer pockets of The Capitol. The homes a little smaller, the yards not as kept. To the outsider it would look a bit shabby. But I know the real story.
This is the community that benefits most from my Best Brother and Sisters charity. Here there are more single-parent families and more children in need of role models to look up to. What’s that sign say? I see my name.
As we pass, it becomes clear.Prince Zan, King Zan!!!Each letter is a different color, and there’s three exclamation points. It’s nice to know I’m thought of that way. And as we slowly make our way in the caravan of cars, I see more of the same. What? Kwai and Nubia told me they saw the signs, but I was sure they were both exaggerating to sway my direction.
There’s more on this block than the last two. Almost every home has a sign and some display my picture. It seems this community at least likes the idea, and if I’m being truthful, I do as well. But it doesn’t matter now. She’s more important to me than any title. I chose Belinda as my destiny.
Everything had to be decided so quickly. That was the problem. That’s what finished me. Had we more time, I think I could have shown her what a meaningful life it would have been, not to say this one won’t be. Of course it will. But I could have really made her see. It’s a moot point though.
Shit. There’s no hiding from myself. I’m going to put it out there, because this may be my last chance.
We both start talking at once.
“I want to talk!” we say. There’s surprise on both our faces.
“You first,” she says.
