Page 68 of The Space He Left
"What was I supposed to say?" I spread my hands, feeling suddenly exhausted. "Harps, you'd made it clear we were separated. You have every right to have friends, to have a life. I destroyed our marriage – I didn't get to have an opinion about who you had dinner with."
"But we're still married," her voice was small, almost childlike.
"Legally, yes. But emotionally..." I paused, choosing my words carefully. "I understood what you were doing. You were trying to figure out if there was life after what I put you through. If you could be Harper again, not just Emma's mom or the woman I betrayed."
"It felt complicated the whole time," Harper whispered, her gaze dropping to her hands. "Doug is a good friend, but everyconversation just made me compare it to... us. To the you I fell in love with. The you I married."
"And?" The word came out rougher than I intended, hope and fear warring in my chest.
She looked up at me then, and I saw something vulnerable and raw in her eyes. "I realized I couldn't move on, because I didn't want to. I was still in love with my husband. Even after everything you'd done to me."
My breath caught, and for a moment I couldn't speak. "Harper..."
"But that doesn't make it right." She straightened, some of her earlier resolve returning. "I was still married, and I shouldn't have gone out with another man, no matter how separated we were. It was wrong."
"We both made mistakes," I said softly. "Some, mine, bigger than others, but we're human. We were both in pain, and we both reacted in ways that weren't perfect."
I watched as Harper took several deep breaths. "Are we going to be able to do this, Jack? Co-parent effectively? Put Emma first, even when it's hard?"
I met her eyes, trying to convey every ounce of sincerity I possessed. "We're already doing it. Today proved that. The way we planned this party together, the way we worked as a team – we can do this."
"What about us?" She hesitated, vulnerability flickering across her features. "Not as Emma's parents, but as... us?"
I felt my heart stop. This was the question everything had been building toward, the one that would determine whether I spent the rest of my life trying to earn back what I'd lost or learning to live with the consequences of my choices.
"I want there to be an us," I said carefully. "I want to rebuild what I destroyed, to become the husband you deserved from thebeginning. But Harper, I know that's not up to me. I know I have to earn back your trust, and I know that might not be possible."
"What would that look like? Earning back my trust?"
"Time. Transparency. Consistency. Probably more therapy, maybe couples counseling if you're open to it. Proving day after day that I can put you and Emma first, that I can be the husband and father you both deserve."
"And if I can't forgive you? If the damage is too great to repair?"
The question terrified me, but Harper deserved honesty. "Then I'll accept that and focus on being the best father I can be to Emma. But Harps, I love you, and I'll never stop hoping that someday you might be willing to give us another chance."
"This is... this is a lot, Jack," Harper said finally, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I need time to process everything we've talked about tonight."
"Of course. Take all the time you need."
She took a shaky breath, gathering her thoughts. "I'm calling my lawyer in the morning," she said, her voice gaining strength. "I'm telling her to shred that letter. There will be no more co-parenting app, legal threats, no more conditions. The threat of divorce is off the table, Jack. I was wrong to ever use it."
I felt something tight in my chest finally loosen. "Harps, you don't know what that means to me."
"I do know. That's why I should have done it months ago." She looked up at me, and I could see her working through something. "I think... I think I want to try. Not to get back together tomorrow, but to see if there's something worth rebuilding between us."
"Okay," I said slowly, not wanting to push too hard.
"Yes to couples counseling. Maybe we could have dinner once a week as a family? Emma has a doctor's appointmentnext week, just routine, maybe we could go together rather than separate cars?"
I thought about all the appointments we'd already attended together – the pediatrician visits, her vaccinations, even that scary night when she'd had a fever and we'd both rushed to the emergency room. Harper had included me in almost all of Emma's medical care, only forgetting to call me about the last-minute appointments that came up or the routine ones that slipped her mind. Mom had laughed about it once, calling it "baby brain" – how new mothers sometimes forgot things that would have been automatic before. But Harper had never deliberately excluded me from Emma's healthcare, even in her anger.
"Family dinner night would be great," I said. "Whatever it takes."
She held up a hand. "Jack, I need you to understand something. If we do this – if we try to rebuild our marriage – there can't be any more lies. No more secrets. No more choosing other people over our family. If you betray my trust again, we're done. Not separated, not taking a break. Done forever. Do you understand that?"
"I understand completely. But it won't happen again. I know you have no reason to believe me right now, but I swear to you on Emma's life, it won't happen again."
Harper studied my face for a long moment, and I saw something in her eyes that I hadn't seen in almost a year: cautious hope.
