Page 65 of The Space He Left
Most of all, I thought about the conversation Anya and Doug had both encouraged me to have, about the questions I needed answered before I could move forward in any direction.
"Jack," I said before I could lose my nerve. "Stay. Please."
He turned, surprise and hope warring in his expression. "Harper?"
I took a deep breath, feeling like I was standing at the edge of a cliff. "I'm ready to talk."
"Are you sure? It's been a long day. You must be tired."
"I'm sure. I'm finally ready to hear what you have to say."
Jack nodded slowly, hanging his jacket on the chair like he'd done a thousand times when this was still his home.
I settled onto the couch, the same couch where we'd spent so many evenings planning for Emma's arrival, back when our future seemed certain and bright. This was it.
Chapter 23
Jack
The silence stretched between us, heavy with months of unspoken words. Harper sat on the opposite end of the couch, her legs tucked under her, studying my face like she was trying to read my soul. I'd dreamed of this moment – the chance to explain, to apologize, to admit to my failings – but now that it was here, I felt completely unprepared.
"Jack," Harper said finally, her voice steady but quiet. "I need to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me."
"Okay."
"Did you have sex with her?"
Fuck. We were going right there. No gentle buildup, no easing into the hard questions. Just straight to the heart of what she needed to know.
"No," I said immediately. "No, Harper. I never had sex with Madison." But I hesitated before continuing, trying to find the right words to explain the rest, and I saw Harper's face change. Her eyes widened with a new kind of horror.
"Oh my god," she whispered. "Did she... did you let her..."
The implication hit me like a freight train. "Harper, no—"
"You hesitated, Jack! You said you didn't have sex with her, but you hesitated!" Tears started streaming down her face. "Whatdidyou do with her?"
"Nothing sexual!" I said desperately. "Harper, I swear to you, nothing sexual happened between us. Ever."
"Then why did you hesitate? What aren't you telling me?"
I felt sick, seeing the pain in her eyes, knowing I was about to make it worse. "Because... because there were things. Not sexual things, but... intimate things. Things I shouldn't have done as a married man."
Harper's face crumpled. "What things?"
"I held her hand sometimes. When she was scared or upset. And a few nights, when she was really struggling, we cuddled up on the sofa together. Once or twice, we fell asleep together on the hotel couch. Under a blanket. Just... holding each other. And sometimes she'd kiss my cheek when I arrived or when I was leaving - nothing different to what Lisa or Rowena would do when I saw them."
"You cuddled with her. And she kissed you."
"Yes. But Harper, I never kissed her back. I never initiated any physical contact beyond holding her hand and letting her sit with me while we watched movies. But I should have stopped it. I should have set boundaries from the beginning."
I watched the emotions on Harper's face as she processed this.
"Where did you sleep all those nights you stayed over?"
"There were two beds in the room. I always slept in the other bed. Always. But Harper, I'm not trying to make myself sound like a victim here. I'm not saying Madison tricked me into holding her hand or falling asleep with her on the couch. Imade those choices. I was the married one. I should have known better."
Harper was crying harder now. "You held another woman while I was home alone, pregnant with your baby."
