Page 55 of The Secret Club
“But I’m nervous now though James. I think it’s hitting me.”
“Everyone and anyone would be nervous, just breathe through the nerves. Breathe them in, breathe them out. Exchange the nerves mentally for excitement. I wish I could watch all the depraved things they are going to do with your body. Remember you are in control. You can stop the scene at any point. They need you. I know you want the money, but we don’tneedthe money. Always remember that you would be letting absolutely no one down. Every single person, even those men, have their limits. You are human and they are human.”
I sign and relax my tensing muscles as I feel lighter from his words. “You always know the right thing to say.”
“It’s just one of my many talents,” James jokes.
“Indeed, it is one of your ever extending talents,” I agree. “Will you be ok this week with the kids?”
“Absolutely. You have nothing to worry about. The kids will be fine, I will be fine—we’ll all be fine including you.”
I close my eyes and try to absorb the feeling of James’ body under mine. The movement of his chest rising and falling andhis heart beating below my ear. I love this man. I am going to miss him. I drift off in the safety and comfort of James’ arms before my alarm goes and it’s 6am. I jump with a fright and this time I do climb out of bed to take a shower.
Fifty-five minutes later, I’m clean, dressed, fed and hugging James goodbye. Both kids are still asleep but that’s ok as I said goodbye to them the night before. Saying goodbye this morning would be much harder for me and them. Why does saying goodbye to your kids feel like someone is tearing out your heart?
I look into James’ eyes. My lip begins to quiver and my eyes pool with water.
“Hey, none of that. You’re going to have the best time.”
I nod, incapable of finding words.
“I love you. Be safe. Remember your safeword. Use it if you need to. I’ll pick you up from the moon if that is where they have taken you.”
I smile as the tears break free and tip down my cheeks. “I love you. See you in a week.”
“See you in a week, Rose Petal.” James kisses me gently on the lips.
I open the door, make my way down to Frank’s waiting car with blacked out windows and climb in, before I shut the door, I smile and wave up at James who is smiling and waves back at me.See you in a week my love, I say in my head. I tie the blindfold as usual and rest my head on the headrest. I try to relax and focus on my breathing. I’d love to get some more sleep because who knows when I can sleep alone again. Frank turns up the radio, his favourite Smooth FM is playing love ballads and I focus on them and not my impending job. I really don’t know what to expect.
It must be two hours later that I startle awake as I hear Frank repeat my Playmate alias. “Roxy. We’re here. Don’t take your blindfold off. I am going to come around and help you out.Then you will be collected and walked towards the house by one of the club members.”
“Ok Frank, I understand,” I answer. When I hear the door open, I swing my legs out and reach for a hand. Finding Frank’s warm outstretched hand, he helps pull me out of the car and I pull my overnight bag along with me. I had no idea what to pack, so I packed light. The description was captive, so I’m guessing there won’t be much need for heels and a dinner dress. I have plenty of different underwear sets, plus my toiletries and nightie. Frank leads me slowly along a path and I hold onto his hand for dear life. Panic is rippling through my body as shit is about to get real, oh so very fucking real. Frank stops and I hear another male voice speak to him.
“Thanks Frank, I’ll take her from here. See you next week,” comes an easy-going voice as I feel Frank’s hand drop mine and another warm slender hand take hold.
“Lovely to meet you Roxy, I’m Dr Jack and I’m going to lead you into the house. I just need you to keep your blindfold on a little longer. We can walk nice and slowly. I’ll take your bag.”
I feel as he tugs the handle from out of my hand and pulls me slowly along towards wherever I’m being led to.
“One small step here, Roxy.”
I lift my foot. I feel like Bambi walking on new feet. I never realised how hard it is having your sight taken away and walking with no bearing as to where you are. I walk a couple more steps and the floor changes under my feet to what sounds like tiles.
“I’m going to lead you towards some steps. There is a rail, you’ll be able to hold my hand and the rail,” Dr Jack says soothingly, like I’m a child he’s guiding.
We walk for a few minutes slowly until Dr Jack stops. “Ok, here is a banister rail,” he places my hand onto the rail. “We are going down some stairs now. There are about 20. Take your time.”
I hesitantly reach out my foot and lower until I can feel the step below. Ever so slowly, I take one step at a time, and I realise I’m beginning to sweat. I have a horrible fear of falling, stairs being one of them.
“And we’re here. Let me take off your blindfold.” I feel Dr Jack standing behind me as he unties the fastening. When the covering falls from my face I blink in the dazzling artificial light that greets me.
I am standing in a basement that reminds me of a cellar in a winery. The brick walls are painted, and the underground room is expansive. What takes my breath is what I am looking at in the centre of the huge room. With all the lights on, it looks like a glass room. Or should I say, a glass box. On the inside of the room is a giant bed against the far wall. A pile of books, an old leather brown armchair and a padded wooden chair underneath a small table with a speaker on it. There is also a glass door on the other side of the room that I hope leads to a bathroom. It’s eerie, and it reminds me of the X-Files or an observation room. My skin prickles and I realise I’m being watched.
For the first time, I turn and look straight into the warm green eyes of Dr Jack. He’s a young man, in his mid-thirties like me and only a touch taller than me. He reminds me of the boy next door although he’s too old for that now. He has floppy light brown hair that is ruffled on his head, he’s wearing simple blue jeans, a shirt and a long white overcoat exactly what a doctor might wear in a hospital. Seems odd that he’d need to wear it in here.
“Hi again Roxy, now you can actually see me.”
“Hi,” I reply shyly and give him a smile.
