Mrs Reynolds soon entered with a tray of food, and a maid followed with the tea.
“Mrs Reynolds, I need to leave immediately. While I am away, I want Mrs Darcy and my daughter to be protected at all times. Tell Jonathan to come to my study in an hour. He will be in charge of their safety. Everyone will answer to him. In all other matters, I shall leave Mrs Darcy in charge with Mr Bingley for support. You, Jonathan, Mrs Darcy, and Mr Bingley are the only ones with any say in any matter. Mrs Darcy has the last word except when her own safety is of concern. I shall leave that assignment in the capable hands of Jonathan. He is, as of now, my new house steward and will join the upper servants’ team. Iam taking my valet with me, but I want his sister in Lambton to come and act as lady’s maid to Mrs Darcy.
“Lastly, arrange for bath water for all of us to be sent up, if you please.”
“Yes, Mr Darcy. Right away, sir.”
Mrs Reynolds bustled out of the room. The Darcys ate quietly until the nurse came to collect Ellie. Mr Darcy refused to allow his child to be out of his sight until two trusted footmen had been assigned to watch over her at all times.
It was unnerving to be in the sole company of Mr Darcy in the quarters where they had spent their blissful days together. Elizabeth did not want to sully the memories of the only time she had been truly happy. They had been two different people back then. She had changed; but so had Mr Darcy.
Mr Darcy turned to her once they were alone. “I am sorry I must leave, but I need to deal with Richard immediately. I cannot bear having him under the same roof as you and Ellie.”
“Why are you taking him to Matlock? You are not allowing him to escape unpunished?” she asked.
“Certainly not!” Mr Darcy replied, aghast.
She had misunderstood him again, which was not so strange. The man was annoyingly tight lipped and rarely explained his intentions.
“I do not want him to be alarmed until I reach his father. There is only so much I can do. If I cannot convince the earl that the colonel did this to us, there is no chance I could win a trial in court. It is not fair, but connections matter in the court of law.”
“What if they kill you?” Elizabeth could not conceal her biggest concern, but it vexed her no end that her fear made Mr Darcy smile.
“They will not risk that because our abduction is known about. It would be too much of a coincidence if I were to have an accident as soon as I entered Matlock ground. My uncle cannot afford suspicions of that kind to affect his family. It would irrevocably damage his reputation in the House of Lords, which he would go to great lengths to avoid. I shall be perfectly safe because I intend to travel to Matlock in two separate carriages and take enough men to protect me. I shall not allow the colonel within ten feet of my person. You need not have any concerns on my behalf, Elizabeth.”
It was the first time he had addressed her by her Christian name since that fateful night in the library. The reverence with which he pronounced it always affected her, and it did nothing to aid her in protecting her heart. Darcy stepped closer with flickering eyes that bespoke a vulnerable uncertainty.
“Please…dare I hope? These days in the company of you and Ellie have been enlightening. I miss you dreadfully. It is my fervent hope that, with time, your dislike of me will soften and affection might grow.”
As usual, Mr Darcy had misinterpreted her feelings. It was not a lack of affection that made her guarded—it was distrust.
“I love you, Fitzwilliam. I always have and most likely always will. Those kinds of feelings cannot be turned off arbitrarily. Not even by sense, reason, or my own better judgment. But I do not trust you. You may evict me from your house at any given moment. I cannot depend upon you to protect me from danger. I am notyourprimary concern, but I am my own, after my daughter.
“Time cannot be rewound. Events cannot be erased. We have to find a way to live with each other. It is to be hoped thatwe can continue on amicable terms, but we cannot go back, Mr Darcy.”
#
The truth of the matter hit Darcy in the gut. The magnitude of his failings robbed him of his breath. To atone for his transgressions was impossible; nothing would amend the horrific offences he had committed against his wife.
He sat, and to conceal his utter despair from Elizabeth, he hid his face in his hands. He wanted to be stoic, but he had no strength left. It would be better for all concerned if he left.
Annoyed, stunned, horrified!
Her blasted expression was etched into his retina and reappeared at the most importune moments, which was because there was something still niggling him after all this time.
“In the library that night, you looked annoyed when I entered.”
“Yes, as I mentioned, I was concerned one of the servants might happen upon us. I thought it was you kissing my neck and…”
Elizabeth did not finish her sentence but looked away from him before she continued.
“I had not had time to establish myself as the mistress of Pemberley. I was an unknown gentleman’s daughter from an insignificant estate with no connections or fortune. The servants were neither welcoming nor hostile but rather wary and suspicious. I thought if I behaved in an impeccable manner and proved myself over time, they would come to respect me. I did not think dallying with my husband in the library would serve me well, so I was annoyed, which evaporated with the shock ofseeing you at the door. Imagine my horror when I discovered it was the colonel…”
Elizabeth visibly shuddered before she rose abruptly, walked to the window, and embraced herself.
Annoyed, stunned, horrified.The fog that had lain over the night’s events cleared in his mind. What his echoing memories had tried to convey was obvious. She should have looked horrifiedfirstif she was deliberately cuckolding her husband. The final piece of the puzzle brought him clarity. It was evident what had happened and what he must do. He rose and straightened his stance with fierce determination.
“I need to talk to my steward before I leave for Matlock. If all goes according to plan, I shall travel directly to London after the business at Matlock is finished. I have matters to discuss with my attorney, and it is unlikely I shall return in the immediate future.”