Page 79 of The Heroic Mr Darcy's Bad Manners
“I would not wish you to become ill, madam.”
“Of course not. I was only teasing.”
The newly affianced separated for a brief moment to refresh their attire. By design, they reunited in the breakfast parlour and waited for the colonel and his bride to make an appearance.
Standing close, with Darcy’s back to the door and Elizabeth more or less hidden from sight, they waited a long time. Darcy used the interim to relate humorous anecdotes from when he and his cousin were inventive little lads who indulged in mischief more often than not.
Elizabeth could readily believe it of the colonel but was sceptical about her betrothed’s tomfoolery.
The door opened during a particularly funny story, and Elizabeth pressed her lips together to contain her mirth.
Darcy saw her struggle and walked forwards, forcing Elizabeth to step backwards until her back hit the wall. He planted a hand on each side of her head and towered over her with a gleam in his eyes that confirmed his tale of youthful knavery.
“I demand some respect—” he yelled.
Rapid steps approached, and Elizabeth peeked out to watch a stone-faced colonel advance upon them.
“Good gracious! You are engaged,” cried Jane.
The colonel halted abruptly and turned to his wife with an incredulous expression. “How did you deduce that from the display before us?”
“That is not the countenance of an enraged Lizzy but a deliriously happy one,” Jane replied calmly.
Elizabeth lost her composure and laughed heartily. “True!” she admitted.
Darcy turned towards the intruders with a wide grin. “Respect from my scheming dolt-head of a cousin,” he cried. “How would you like to punish him, dearest?”
“Please, do not call me that!”
“Dare I ask why not?”
“That is what my mother calls my father when she is vexed.”
“What would you like me to call you?”
“Mrs Darcy, but only in private. In public you must call me Lady Elizabeth, but with family or friends you may call me Lizzy.”
“What if I prefer Eilís?”
Elizabeth stepped closer and raised her chin.
“I shall accede to you calling me your Incomparable Exalted Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth.”
The colonel cleared his throat. She had completely forgotten about their company and her revenge.
“I had never thought that after ending an acclaimed military career I would stoop to chaperoning two lovesick fools. We had better send a message to Edensor that Elizabeth is here and is staying for breakfast before they send out servants to search for her.”
Jane snickered and looked at him lovingly. “Your performance is excellent. I dare say you exceed the expectations of even the most forbidding old matrons.”
“Then you will not oppose me when I declare that the betrothed couple cannot be under the same roof without supervision?” the colonel declared whilst wriggling his eyebrows.
Jane bit her lip in contemplation.
“We could all go to the Lake District,” Elizabeth suggested to call them out.
“There never was a trip to the Lakes,” Jane admitted. “We were so happy and could not bear to watch our dearest relations be so decidedly unhappy that we schemed to bring you two together to end your misery. I dare say we would have been successful in our endeavour had you only acquiesced to join us, Lizzy.”
“Our plan was as solid as an over-ripe plum.” The colonel grinned. “But all that ends well…”
