Page 20 of The Heroic Mr Darcy's Bad Manners
“I should imagine not.”
The mellow tones of Mr Darcy made Elizabeth quiver involuntarily.
“You are amazed and bedazzled by Miss Eliza Bennet’s enchanting voice and incomparable beauty.”
“You deem her a beauty?” Mr Darcy’s incredulity laced his tone. “I would as soon call her mother a wit!”
Elizabeth sank to her knees whilst Miss Bingley giggled.
“You are so droll, Mr Darcy. If we were not in company, I would have laughed aloud. You simply must tell me what you said to her at the assembly that offended her so grievously. Miss Eliza is avoiding you as if you were the devil himself.”
“I assure you that it has nothing to do with me. We have never been so much as introduced. I do not know why she is behaving so strangely, and I am of no mind to discover it.”
Mr Darcy’s voice rose with each syllable. He sounded terribly angry, which baffled Elizabeth. If anyone had reason to be vexed it was she—not the swaggering oaf.
“I am only jesting. I have no interest in Meryton’s hoydens. Imagine how insupportable it would be spending many evenings in this manner of society. I was never more annoyed. The insipidity, the noise, yet they are all so self-important. What I would give to hear your strictures on them.”
“Your conjectures are all wrong,” Mr Darcy decried petulantly, and the hinges squeaked again.
Elizabeth heard a feminine huff before the hinges cried for the last time that evening. She walked round the house and re-entered through the front door. Charlotte was waiting for her in the anteroom with her shawl in her hands.
“Shall I inform your family that you have a headache?” she enquired dully.
“Yes please,” Elizabeth agreed, regarding her friend quizzically.
“I owe you an apology,” Charlotte offered.
“Whatever for?” Elizabeth asked.
“For forcing you to sing when you were not inclined to perform.”
Elizabeth pulled Charlotte in for a fierce hug.
“My current indisposition has nothing to do with my song. I am pleased to have induced Mary to tears. I shall tell you all about it when you visit on the morrow. At the moment, I am in dire need of headache powder and my bed.”
Charlotte returned the hug and smiled wanly.
“I hope you recover soon.”
“I am certain I shall.” Elizabeth smiled and left.
Chapter 7 Body Soul Intelligence
It was some mornings past the Lucases’ dinner party that Jane received an invitation from Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst. She hastily read it while the servant awaited a reply.
“Read it aloud,” Mrs Bennet demanded, her eyes sparkling.
“Miss Bingley has invited me for a whole day’s tête-à-tête. The gentlemen are to dine with the officers.”
“Dining out,” said Mrs Bennet. “That is very unlucky.”
“May I have the carriage?” Jane pleaded.
“You may not. Think of what your father would say if the horses were to be away for the entire day,” Mrs Bennet admonished.
“Generally, those among us who are called patricians are rather deficient in paternal affections[3],”Mary interjected.
“Her father does not mind,” Mr Bennet drawled from behind his newspaper.
