Page 79 of Awakening
“I am,” I said, voice barely above a whisper, “So deep it terrifies me. I’ve never loved like this. It’s not chaotic or conditional or rooted in trauma. It’s just… safe, but adventurous. Expansive but sacred.”
I paused, breathing them in. “I want to introduce them to my parents. To Dro, Michelle, my siblings, but their father is a pastor, so I don’t know how that’ll go. Let them meet the people who make it easy for me to just be me, but I’m scared. What if they can’t accept it? What if it taints what I have with Mav and Knox?”
Caleb sat up slightly, propped on one elbow, his toned chest catching the slant of early sun. “You ever notice how standing in your truth feels heavy at first? Like you’re holding it up for judgment before anyone else can? But once you own it, really claim it, it stops being heavy and starts being armor.”
I looked over at him, blinking away the sting in my eyes.
“This love, your love, your joy isn’t something to be ashamed of. Knox and Mav don’t hide you. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t rob yourself of the full experience because of someone else’s fear or discomfort.”
Yanna slid her hand over my heart, resting it there gently. “We can tell them together. When we get back, let’s make it a date. Our truth, all laid out on the table withwine and possibly some backup bodyguards, depending on how it goes.”
Caleb grinned, “Nobody can beat my ass about it, so I’m already ready.”
I burst into laughter, the kind that bubbles from your chest and shakes your ribs, “You are so damn annoying.”
“And sexy,” he added with a wink.
“Also true,” Yanna murmured, licking her lips.
I leaned back, smiling as our laughter faded into a sweet stillness.
“You really think I should do it?” I asked them both, “Tell them I’m polyamorous? That I’m in a throuple? That I’m in love with two men who happen to be in love with each other and me?”
“Do you think you deserve to live your truth out loud?” Yanna asked, her gaze suddenly serious, “Because that’s all that matters.”
I nodded slowly, then with more conviction.
“Yeah. I do.”
“Then that’s your answer,” Caleb said.
We lay there, tangled up in each other, the promise of bacon and mimosas somewhere in the future.
For now, I closed my eyes again and let myself dream, not of the fear or the what-ifs, but of my men. Their smiles, their laughter, their skin against mine, and how they always made me feel like the most powerful woman in any room.
Because I was, and it was in this moment that I realized I am exactly who I think I am, BIG Ja, never the little one.
I must’ve dozed off after our heart-to-heart. Caleb’s warmth behind me and Yanna’s calming scent made sleep come easily. The ocean breeze swirled into the open villa, tickling my skin as I lay cocooned in that safe, sacred space.
When a knock on the door stirred me from my slumber.
The door creaked open before anyone even moved.
“It’s open!” Caleb called out.
Maverick’s deep voice filled the room like a heartbeat, “I just came to get my woman.”
Next thing I know, I’m being scooped up, bridal style, by 6'3 of smooth-skinned, gold-grilled, hoodie-wearing sensual chaos.
“Maverick!” I squealed, gripping his shoulders, laughing.
“Good morning to you too, baby,” he grinned, kissing my cheek. “You thought you could sneak off and lay up in someone else’s bed like you ain’t got two fine-ass men missing you?”
“Oop,” Yanna snickered as Caleb pulled her into his arms.
“You sound hella possessive for a man who just let me top him in a sex dungeon last night,” I teased.
He smirked, “And I’d let you do it again, but this morning, I want my woman back in our bed.”
