Page 174 of Until We Burn
“I want you to take out the segment on misogyny,” he demands.
Rage slashes my crumbling patience. “That section is too important to remove,” I insist.
“We’re supposed to be delivering news, not sob stories,” Bàba spats.
“The ongoing discrimination against women in science has impeded the arctic ice investigation numerous times,” I reason. “The challenges they’ve overcome attest to how determined they are to get to the root of the issue.”
Revulsion warps his face. “I couldn’t care less about that,” Bàba snaps. “It’s a waste of time.”
“We’ve already begun filming and recording for all three parts!” I gasp.
Bàba swings his fist against his desk.
“Thisis what I’m talking about!” he shouts. “This insolence and disrespect! You used to do everything I told you to do!”
“Because this is a projectI’mhandling!”
“Under the direction ofmycompany. You lack the experience and the expertise I’ve spent years honing. When I tell you to do something, you listen, and you take it!”
After months of watching my words and holding my breath, my patience finally snaps.
“I don’t just twirl my hair in class, bàba! I pick up new skills to make me competent in my work. I wouldn’t be editor-in-chief of the Howler if I didn’t have experience and expertise.”
Bàba scoffs. “That trivial media outlet is nothing compared to the prestige of the HMG.”
“What’s the point of getting us to lead the HMG if you won’t let us exercise our judgment?”
“Just because you have a chance to become CEO, it doesn’t mean you can uproot everything!”
“Then if you don’t like the way I do things, why don’t you just let me go?”
I pale in shock. Bàba blinks.
Whenever I imagined telling him the truth, I always expected himto scream, crack the wall, shatter ceramic. He doesn’t. He’s as stiff as the decorative blade glinting on the wall behind him.
Bàba leans back in his chair. I gulp when I see his hands curl over his armrests.
“Is that what you want?”
My heart pounds so fast, it aches from the effort.
One word.
That’s all it takes to cut the first knot around my throat.
Relief bursts inside of me at the thought, growing into a courage that finally pushes the truth off my tongue.
“Yes.”
“You are going to walk away from me,” he snarls, “after everything I’ve given you?”
Guilt sinks into my resolve until I’m drowning in regret. But it’s not enough to silence the realizations I’ve come to.
“I can be grateful for what you’ve given me and still want better for myself.”
Bàba curses. His hands sweep across his desk, shoving the papers off. “You are just like your ama! She never stopped spewing nonsense about walking away from the company!”
“Because the life the HMG built for us isn’t worth living!”I cry out. My trembling fingers rake through my hair as the words fire out. “We’re constantly fighting to stay on top by scheming and competing with each other for your approval. It’s sick! I hate the way you made me think that was the way of the world, but it’s not. Amaknew that! She was the only one who knew that!”
