Page 153 of Until We Burn
I shoot to my feet and rush out of my cubby. My eyes dart around to search for the bathroom, but I end up stumbling into a hallway filled with photos of famous Lakefield Vipers who made it to the NHL.
They have this display in every guest locker room. It’s a show of pride and intimidation that reminds the visiting team exactly who they’re going up against.
My steps slow down as I look through every photo. The bright fluorescents flash down on the names engraved on the plaques. My head spins. Hopelessness spirals inside of me when I realize none of the people on the walls look like me.
There has to be someone, right?
But as I trudge farther down the hall, the kind of players who make it from the NCAA to the NHL don’t change. I look down at my gear and suddenly feel so fucking stupid for thinking I can be anything more than a token for the NCAA.
Why would the universe choose you to play in the NHL out of thousands of players? Your dream isn’t rare. You’re not rare. You’re just another naïve kid who thinks he deserves more than he’s actually worth.
“Kainoa? Are you in here?”
The familiar smell of rain and leather consumes the quiet, sterile room.
I turn around and see Uncle Manu coming in to wrap me in a hug.
“I know this is not the first game of the season, but I thought you might’ve needed some of my mojo.”
I hug him tight. “Don’t ever say that word again.”
Uncle Manu curses and shakes his head. “I told Ron that word wasn’t cool anymore.” His head falls softly on top of mine, as he cups the back of my head. “Your heart is beating fast,petit bouc.You nervous?”
I pull away to sweep my arm across the walls. “Look at all these players,tonton.Why did I ever think I had a chance to play with them?”
“Hey.”Uncle Manu grabs me back and presses his finger to my chest. “Don’t you start thinking like that. You have just as much right to play on the ice as everyone else. You are not beneath them. You never have been.”
For once, the conviction in his voice isn’t enough to kill the doubts festering inside me.
Uncle Manu senses this and frowns. “I know you’re not in a good place right now, but this is temporary. It’s going to pass and you’re gonna get through it. That’s what makes a great athlete. You have that in you. You always have.”
I look back at him with a gratitude I wish I could put into words. “Thanks for being here,tonton.”
“You know I stand with you one hundred percent,” Uncle Manu assures, “Even if you win or lose tonight, remember my words.”
I nod. “Soyez fiers jusqu'à la fin.”
“And don’t you forget that.”
Strobe lights sweepthe arena and wash over the Vipers fans decked out in yellow and green.
“Welcome your Lakefield Vipers!”
The crowd cheers as the Vipers skate onto the ice.
When the Griffins come out, those cheers turn to laughter.
The Vipers and their fans jeer at our tattered jerseys, which have been stitched back together with skeletal white thread. We didn’t want to wait for the new ones to arrive before playing the game. We wanted these jerseys to send a message: You can try to break us all you want, but you can’t keep us off the ice.
“Oh, that is alook.”
Simon skates up towards the center line with a shit-eating grin.
I fight back the urge to beat his head with my stick. Because our security cameras couldn’t identify the guys behind the ski masks, the police let the Vipers off the hook. Technically, no one got in trouble after Halloween night because everyone was too drunk and hidden in costume to make out what actually happened. Everyone else might be trying to forget that night, but not the Griffins.
Tonight, we’re making the Vipers pay.
I shove him back. “It’s too bad your jaw is still going off. I should’ve done a better job of breaking it last time.”
