Page 83 of Until We Burn
“Kai.” I shake his hand, rattling his attention back to me.
He looks into my eyes. My heart breaks. Pain and frustration rupture behind that calm, moss green gaze I love so much. Kai tries to be such a grounding, gentle force for everyone else, I forget how much he’s quietly shouldering to keep his dream of playing in the NHL alive.
Kai sighs. “Look, Di, what I’m going through is so much bigger than the two of us. I don’t expect you to help me fix it at the Indigo Café. We came here for you and that hasn’t changed.” He crumples up his sandwich bag and stands up. “Come on. We have some bookshelves to raid.”
I feel helpless. I hate knowing exactly what’s wrong but not knowing what to do about it.
And I take it out on my shopping.
“I want this.”
I slam another smutty romance novel on the pile building in Kai’s arms.
“Huh…” He chuckles at the shirtless man brandishing a sword on the cover. “So, this is where you learned everything you know.”
I’m glad we’re both wearing masks. I can’t begin to imagine what the headlines would say if they caught me buying these books with a boy.
The signed edition of the Bridgerton books suddenly catch my eye from the next shelf over.
“I want that.”
I march towards it.
“Jesus—”Kai grips the books tighter and hurries after me. “Di, slow down.”
Every book I snatch off the shelf temporarily relieves the panic building inside me. But it flares back up again when I wander through the romance aisle empty handed.
I don’t have as much time to read novels every day. Back then, though? Love stories were my safe haven. They’re what bound Sophia and I together when wewere younger.
I pause in front of a new Jessica Lovelace novel. My heart aches at the memory of us reading her books way past our bedtime.
“Are you going to get that book?” Kai asks.
The pain of remembering makes me shake my head. “Sophia likes this author. Not me.” I still catch her secretly reading Jessica Lovelace novels sometimes. “I heard her say that she’s been wanting to get the sequel to Jessica’s new series for a while.”
“Why don’t you like her books anymore?” A faint eagerness in Kai’s voice makes me smile a little. People don’t usually care about what I love unless they can gossip about it to someone else.
“Her love interests are always too dramatic and reckless, and her main characters are too whimsical for me. But they always comforted Sophia.”
A gasp breaks behind us. A store worker wanders up to us with an iPad.
“Ilovedthat book! You should totally get it,” she gushes. “It’s also the last copy we have in stock, so if you’re hesitating about getting it…I think you should absolutely go for it.”
I cock my head. “It’s the only copy left?”
“Yeah, our shipments are having issues, unfortunately.” She frowns. “So, anyone who wants to get the book in print won’t be able to after today.”
“Hmm, how sad.”
I snatch the last copy off the shelf and slam it on top of the pile in Kai’s arms.
“Wha—” Kai furrows his brows. “I thought you said you didn’t like Jessica Lovelace’s work?”
“I don’t.”
Pettiness fuels me as I march on through the aisles. I might miss my sister, but I’m still angry at her for helping Jonathan ruin my reputation.
I reach the end of the aisle. The restlessness writhing inside still hasn’t settled. My fingers twitch, yearning to get their hands on something. My eyes fall on a seven-foot bamboo shelf that’s on sale.
