Page 74 of Until We Burn
Diana clears her throat and backs away. “I should go.”
Even though she’s whispering, it feels like knives to my gut.
“Yeah.” I gulp. My hand falls away. “Sorry. I?—”
“It’s okay,” she says, even though she hardly looks okay.
Regret grips me in a chokehold the second she leaves. What the hell was I thinking?
On the first night we fucked, Diana made it clear that her feelings toward me have changed. Even if they haven’t, there’s nothing we can do about it. I’m not a guy who’s living a normal university life. I’m chasing something so much bigger than myself and so is she.
Our paths won’t cross past graduation. I need to get that through my head before the secret of us tumbles out.
CHAPTER 31
DIANA
I knew beingfriends with benefits would have its complications.
No matter how many rules we put between us, it doesn’t change the fact that I still ache for Kai the same way I did in first year. Even more so now that Kai is no longer just a daydream. He’s a secret I can reach for and disappear into any time I’m stressed.
But I can’t forget that moment on his bed yesterday. If Kai had leaned in any closer, I would’ve?—
Don’t go there.
You’re both here for sex relief and nothing more.
Whatever Kai is feeling is none of your business because you know the consequences of ever giving in and being with him.
I try to push the rest of my focus onto the tasks on my agenda.
Back at the Fairmont, I finish my readings, look over the finalized clips for the next newscast, and devote the rest of my Sunday evening to editing the copy of next week’s issue of the Howler. It’s already gone through rounds of editing by the section editors, copy editor, and peer editor. By that time, it’s polished enough to be circulated online and on paper. But I need this issue to be the best no matter how small and dwindling it is compared to the others.
Despite the rumors, I want to prove to the board and the student body that I can still do a good job as editor-in-chief of the Howler.
“Miss Diana, you need to eat.”
The scent of pork dumplings and spicy, scrambled tomato fried eggs drifts into the dining room. Helen eases aside the papers and textbooks on the table to put our dinner down.
My eyes narrow at my laptop screen. “I’ll eat in a minute.”
“You said that a minute ago.”
“Because I wasn’t hungry yet and I’m not hungry now.”
My stomach growls.
Helen shoots me a stern, pointed look. I begrudgingly slip my hands off my laptop and take the bowl of rice she offers.
Helen settles down across from me in her pink Anpanman apron.
“Lai, lai—” Here, here.Shebeckons for my bowl before she scoops a big helping of fried eggs and dumplings over the bed of rice.
The first bite has my eyes nearly rolling to the back of my head. The dumplings are so savory and crisp, and the eggs practically melt on my tongue.
I was fully intent on living on my own, but Helen was adamant about coming along.
I kindly told your fat-headed father that you must be well-fed if you’re going to reflect on your mistakes and prove you’re worthy to lead the HMG.
