Page 34 of Until We Burn
Kai softens. “Diana, people hardly come through here. Even if they do, they’re too caffeinated and depressed to pay attention to who they pass by. I promise.”
I peek around at the tunnel. Shapes occasionally flit across our shadows. “Are you sure?”
“Unless the seagulls of Vancouver suddenly figured out how to use a camera, I swear there’s zero chance of being photographed here.” Kai holds out his hand. He’s utterly patient and gentle as he says, “You can hold my hand if you want. It’s a little dark down here.”
I falter, my body feeling a little more at ease. I’m not supposed to reach for Kai. It’s against everything I swear I wouldn’t give in to. But at the same time…it’s so endearing that I can’t say no.
It’s just this once.
My hand reaches for his. The nerves firing inside me quiet down when Kai’s strong, calloused hand wraps around mine. His throat bobs, yet his smile is soft and assuring as he leads me down the tunnel.
CHAPTER 16
KAI
I can still feelDiana’s hand tucked in mine even when we’re in the car.
My thumb fiddles with the leather flailing from the steering wheel.It’s all I can do to erase her touch from my mind.
I don’t even know why I’m trying. It’s not like I can forget about Diana when she’s sitting right beside me.
I sneak a look at her.
Diana stares out the window with her bag in her lap. The fading sun glows across her face, streaking through her silky black hair and dark, dignified brown eyes that quietly observe the world outside.
Diana’s brows suddenly furrow. She turns her head. I snap my eyes away and narrow them, pretending to focus on the line of cars slogging through Gastown. Autumn leaves spill over store awnings as brown and worn out as the Victorian buildings surrounding the street. Around us, shop doors swing open and slam shut. I can hear people laughing over cups of coffee while they walk past the whistling steam clock.
“Kai?”
I clear my throat. “Yeah?”
“How are youso calm about sneaking around with me?” Diana asks.
I shrug, propping my elbow against the center console. “Well, if you recall, I just spent a good chunk of my day swinging and hitting a puck. It’s a great way to unwind, you know?”
Diana snorts and smiles down at her hands.
I lick my lips, my voice coming out a little quieter, “And the anxiety meds I take in the morning help, too.”
Diana’s eyes soften as they look up at me. Surprisingly, there’s no judgment or pity in them. Just genuine relief. “It’s good that you have something to help you keep the anxiety at bay.”
“It doesn’t get rid of it entirely,” I clarify. “If I see or hear something that’s triggering, the anxiety still goes off. But it’d be what a mildly anxious person would go through. That’s, um…that’s actually how I know the orange tunnels lead to the parkade. I found them when I was having an episode after the rumors spread. I’d walk there after practice. I couldn’t stand being around all the whispering and the staring. I still go down there if I’m having a rough day.”
Diana reaches up to gently squeeze my hand. My heart jumps at the contact, fluttering and pounding.
“I get it,” she assures. “In my own way, at least.”
I swallow hard, trying to wet my throat that’s suddenly gone dry. It doesn’t get better when the car stops, and I decide to look at her again. The golden street lamps flicker on. They illuminate the unwavering honesty shimmering across Diana’s face.
She’s so goddamn pretty.
My voice scrapes out in a pathetic whisper, “You get it?”
Diana holds my gaze and nods. “I understand what it’s like to have people watch your every move, to have them revel in seeing you make a mistake. It’s like you’re always holding your breath, always scheming and plotting. . .”
“To figure out how to win and keep their favor.”
Diana breathes out. “You get it.”
