Page 28 of Until We Burn
“I-I’m…I should’ve—” I grasp for the right words. But nothing gives shape to the emotions swirling inside of me.
Kai coaxes me on, “You should’ve what…Diana?”
I gulp. His eyes draw to my throat. The heavy guilt I feel crumbles under the shameful flare of desire igniting under my skin as Kai’s gaze darkens on me. I should step away and apologize, say something—anything—to break what lies between us now. But my lips part, still struggling to find the words to respond. They’re tangled with filthy fantasies of Kai pinning me against this wall and taking all of his anger, his frustrations, out on me until I’m slick with sweat and cu?—
“Yo!”
We break away. The mundane lighting springs down on us. I blink, panic thrumming inside of me.
What the hell just happened?
Across from us, Luke King hollers, “Practice starts soon! We gotta go!”
I look back at Kai, my thoughts still spinning. The words struggle to surface, but I doubt Kai will hear me through the anger and confusion warring across his face. His brows furrow, his lips part and close.
I think Kai is about to say something. Then he simply sighs, shakes his head, and walks away.
CHAPTER 14
KAI
Diana Huang is makingme lose my shit.
She comes storming into my workout, expecting me to help her with Mellonbaum’s project after snapping at me at that partnership dinner. Then, when I finally have the guts to stand up to her, she has me weak for her all over again.
Skating onto the ice, I try to give in to the familiar pressure of the blades grazing the surface and lean into the smooth, grinding noise from every mark I make. But it’s not enough. I can still see Diana in the white surface of the ice. The way her throat bobbed against her knitted white turtleneck, her lips parting, oblivious to how much I want to know how they feel against me when she’s not pissing me off.
I groan, slap-shooting another puck towards the net. It bounces off the edge, skidding into the boards.
I know this is a stupid thing to be angry over. I just can’t shake off how it makes me feel like I’m dealing with my parents all over again. Being pulled left and right like a puppet they want to tame.
I should keep my emotions off the ice. Usually, I do. But today, they follow me throughout practice.
I miss every single hit, every single pass.
“Alright, that’s it!” Coach Clark finally snaps his finger at me and points to the bench. “Get over there and get comfortable, Kai.”
I curse under my breath as I skate towards the bench.
My vision flashes red. I drop down on the bench and slam the end of my hockey stick against the floor. The pressure vibrates through the shaft, wringing out my anger with it. All I want to do is scream. At Coach. At Diana. At my fucking self because of how easily I fall apart for someone who wants so much out of his own life. But I’m already benched from practice. One more bad move and my punishment will risk my chance to play in the first game of the season against the Vipers.
Against Simon fucking Valdis and I won’t let that happen.
Luke and Rowanconfront me after practice.
“Dude! You’re lucky coach is letting Row talk to you alone,” Luke stresses. “He was planning on ripping into you just now.”
I chuck my water bottle aside. “As he should. I should’ve been more focused today.”
The bench creaks as Luke plops down beside me. Rowan leans against the wall with his arms crossed. As reserved and steady-headed as he is, the disappointment on his face still stings.
“I know there’s a lot riding on your shoulders right now. The internship, your parents, getting signed, but you need to find a way to get that out of your system before you go on the ice. What you did back there is going to cost us in the first game.”
Guilt kills the anger riling up inside of me. “I know, Row, and I swear it won’t happen again. I’ll figure it out. I promise.”
Rowan studies me with that quiet, unflinching stare that makes your spine instinctively straighten up. Then he softens, his arms unraveling. The strict captain disappears, and he settles down beside me.
“I saw you talking to Diana at the gym today. Did she say something to rattle you?”
