Page 193 of Until We Burn
2. Be a good leader.
3. Take over the HMG and make bàba proud.
Sadness pricks my heart when I look at her and the dreams she leftbehind for me to accomplish. I push myself off the floor and sink onto my bed.
Helen peeks over at me. “What’s the matter?”
My thumb runs over the girl in the photograph. “I feel like I’ve disappointed a part of myself.”
Doubt swarms my mind now, unsettling every certainty about how I want to live my life.
What if this is a sign that I’m making the wrong choice? I’ve had my whole future figured out for me since I was a little girl. Now, I’m steering my own ship, the captain’s wheel is taller than I thought, and I don’t know what half the buttons on the console do. Starting my own media outlet sounded so exciting in my head, but now that it’s in my hands, it feels so different and intimidating that I don’t know if I can pull it off.
Helen runs her hands over my hair, consoling me with her touch as she sits beside me on the bed.
“Miss Diana, this girl and her ambitions have been bound to you for so long. It’s okay to mourn the life you thought you’d have in the pursuit of finding what it is you really want. That doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path. There is tremendous grief in letting go of what isn’t meant to be and it’s alright to feel it while you’re smiling about where you’re headed next.”
Helen squeezes my hands. She smiles with sunlight glowing across her face.
“Whatever happens in the next few months, I want you to know this: you will never lead yourself astray when you’re acting from the values of the person you want to be.”
CHAPTER 77
DIANA
SEPTEMBER
Helen’s advicecarries me through the next several months.
Coverage about me hasn’t been completely positive. But through all I’ve endured, I wholeheartedly believe that my life can still go on and wonderful things can still bloom from the ruins.
In some way, it has.
Sadie huffs. “This is so freaking heavy!”
“If this thing chips my acrylics, I am going to lose it,” Stella laments.
I bend down, eyes narrowed, as Stella, Sadie, and Patrick attempt to hitch the media outlet sign to the wall. “I think it needs to be a little higher.”
Nirah stands beside me as my managing editor. She cocks her head. “Also, move it more to the right.”
They groan in agony.
Wallace, Rowan, Luke, and Kai stand by looking concerned and amused.
Rowan crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. “You know, we have no problem helping you out.”
“No. Staff members only,” Stella insists. “It’s symbolic.”
Sadie blows out a breath. “Put your back into it, Patrick!”
“I am!” he defends. “What do you think all this grunting is for?”
“Alright, alright, I’m coming in!” I hurry towards them. My arm aches as I lift the edge of the first letter. Nirah helps me on the other end. Together, we hoist up the sign and hitch it securely to the wall.
The lights flicker on, lighting up each letter in bold, empowering red.
We stumble back in awe and relief.
