Page 150 of Until We Burn
“Stop, stop, stop,” I whisper.
I can’t do this. I can’t think about Kai. Not after how badly I broke him.
I’m back in my father’s favor, I have a CEO vote to win, a joint project to spearhead, and news stories that need my attention.
This is everything I wanted, and I have to protect it or lose it all over again.
All around me, students file into Mellonbaum’s lecture room. Bagel wraps crinkle apart and iced coffees are slurped to survive the first Monday lecture after reading week.
“One of Cheval’s most majestic works is the pieceSwansophone,”Mellonbaum gushes. Her hands flare out at a painting of a court jester in rouge. His cheeks puff out as he blows into a saxophone that curls down and swells into the body of a swan fluttering its wings. “Look at that color! That bravado!”
I crack a little smile, leaning sideways. “If you squint?—”
The words die on my tongue.
The seat beside me is empty. It will be for at least a week because Kai and the Griffins are playing in conference tournaments.
Still, my eyes can’t stop flickering back and forth from the slides on the board to the door that will never creak open mid-lecture. Even when Kai isn’t on campus, I see and feel him everywhere. In the doors leading towards the orange tunnels, in the bypass that connects to the Balfur Arena, in the parkade where we’d sneak into his car.
Even in my office at the Howler.
I push past the boxes of Andrea’s things to get to my desk. In the corner of my eye, the empty sound booth makes me go still. I remember exchanging secret smiles and fleeting glances with Kai during the radio interview on that mid-October morning.
I bite my lip to stop the tears from spilling out.
I don’t think I will ever know how to feel at home with any other guy except him.
“Ahem.”
I force myself to straighten up. When I turn around, I see Andrea standing across the desk with a resentful glare on her face.
“I’m almost done clearing my stuff out,” she declares. “I’ve left my agenda for the Howler on your desk. We can go over it if you want.”
I glance down at the planner. I know the board wanted Andrea to help me transition back into office. But she reminds me too much of Kai and all the things I remember they used to do together. Things that one day he’ll do with some other girl he falls in love with and?—
My breath catches.
I can’t think about this. Not right now.
“I think I’ll be alright,” I dismiss. “I’ll reach out if I have any questions.”
“Fine.” Andrea shoves a lid over a box and plops it down on the wagon carrying the rest of her things.
I settle into my chair just as Andrea walks toward the door with her wagon in tow. She suddenly pauses and turns around.
“Are you dating Kai?”
My fingers pause over the agenda. I try to keep my voice as steadyas possible, while I nonchalantly flip through the pages. “Why are you asking me that?”
“I saw you at the Halloween party. You defended him from Simon and left the party together.”
I try to sift through the panic swarming my thoughts, fighting to grasp for a response that’s logical and unassuming at the same time.
“Kai was just trying to help me get away from him. It was a nice gesture from a source I’ve worked with,” I lie. “Nothing more.”
Andrea scoffs.“Right.”
But she doesn’t push on it. She simply snatches her wagon handle and turns to leave again.
