Page 69 of Just for Fun
Kyle takes a step inside and closes the door behind him. I am grateful for his thoughtfulness because the last thing I need is for my neighbors to witness my complete meltdown.
“I’m so sorry!” He pulls me into his arms and rocks me back and forth. “I should’ve called first,” he continues. “I didn’t think of how it would make you feel to see me. I just wanted to see your face…”
Through the sobs, I realize that he thinks I am upset about him being here, when in fact, I am devastated at the thought of being too unattractive for him.
There are all very weird thoughts considering that we are not in a relationship, and our time together is very limited. On purpose, at that. We both laid out the terms of our agreement, so it’s not like he was trying to deceive me in any way.
”Shhh…”
He keeps on holding me, every so often kissing the top of my head.
”I will go if me being here is making you this upset.”
My fingers grab onto his T-shirt and don’t let go. “I don’t want you to go.”
It’s a miracle that my words are actually making sense. When I bring my head up from where it was resting against his chest, I see that the material of his T-shirt is wet from all my tears. Well, maybe a little snot is thrown in there as well.
I take a step back and cover my face with my hands. “God, I am so gross!”
”What?” He has the audacity to chuckle in amusement.
Instead of answering his question, I change the topic. “I just tried calling you,” I say in an accusatory tone. “And you didn’t answer.”
”Oh…” He pats his pockets to locate the phone. “I felt it ring when I was walking to your door, but I didn’t want whoever was calling to interfere with me seeing you.”
“It was me,” I explain unnecessarily. “And you didn’t answer,” I repeat.
Kyle takes a tentative step forward and brings his hands up to cup my cheeks. His touch is gentle and caring. It soothes all my worries away, which is so weird. How does he have this kind of power over me?
“I’m so sorry, baby.” He bends his head and kiss me on the forehead. “I’ve been waiting for you to call…” Another kiss, this time on my right cheek. “And then…” Kiss on the left cheek. “I had an epiphany.”
I look up at him with what I am sure to be a lost puppy look. “You did?”
“Yeah…” He kisses my chin. “I realized that there was no reason for me to wait for you to call me first. And that’s not because I don’t respect your space,” he assures me. “But I wanted to make sure that you were okay…”
He touches his lips to mine. I want more, a real kiss, but he brings his head back up before I have a chance to deepen our connection.
“I felt like shit after the other night,” he tells me. “You should’ve told me.”
The pain marring his features is obvious. Guilt eats at me, but this is not something I can undo.
“I thought I was ready.” My voice cracks when I speak, and I have to look away, or I’ll start crying again.
As if he can sense everything that I’m feeling, Kyle’s hand moves to the back of my head before he pulls my face into his chest. He holds me like this for the longest time, his tender touch on my back calming me down some. Every so often, he drops a kiss to the top of my head.
It’s so bizarre how much my life has changed in the span of a week. Nothing has been the same since I met Kyle in that restaurant.
“Did I hurt you?”
He sounds concerned when he asks, almost like he is scared of how I might answer his question. Truth be told, I don’t even know how to respond. It was a very painful experience, but I don’t know if it had anything to do with him.
“It felt really good,” I start. “I was really into it, and I couldn’t wait for you to… You know…”
Good God, am I pathetic or what?
Kyle chuckles. “I was looking forward to that as well.”
I wrap my arms around him and squeeze tight. It’s easier to talk to him about it as long as I don’t actually look at him.
