Page 57 of Change My Mind
Xander looked confused, but also happy to see me, when Iburst through the door, leaning on the bureau where customers had to wait, to catch my breath.
“Hey, love, you okay? You seem frazzled.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m fine. I power walked here.”
Xander smiled. “Why did you power walk here? Are you that in need of some French toast?”
I huffed out a laugh. “Actually, no, I’m here to collect your head chef.”
Xander’s eyebrows furrowed, and he spun his head around to look at the kitchen.
“Eli? I spoke to him earlier, and he seemed fine.”
I straightened up. “Yeah, Kayla called me to say she was worried he might be trying to work through something.” Xander’s brow furrowed even further. “She didn’t want to try you again because Eli would just mask it, what with you being his boss and this being his job.”
“I wouldn’t have suggested he power through. If he’s sick, then he shouldn’t try and work through it.”
“He’s not. Actually, I can’t say that for sure, but I don’t think he’s sick. Besides, you know what this industry can be like. Do you really think he hasn’t tried to work through everything under the sun? Anyway, if I pull him out of service, can the kitchen cope?”
Xander was already nodding. “Yes.”
I was pulling my scrunchie down from my arm and tying my hair up as I headed to the kitchen before he finished giving verbal confirmation.
Eli was easy to find when I walked in. He was leaning against the walk-in fridge with his eyes closed, his mouth moving quietly. As I slowly approached him, I realised he was mouthing numbers.
“Eli?” I asked tentatively.
“Adrienne,” he replied quietly. His breathing was shaky, his eyes still closed.
“Do you wanna come with me?” I held out my hand and waited. His eyes opened, and he looked at my hand warily before he slipped his palm into mine. His touch was cool. I led him to the staff room at the back of the kitchen and locked it behind us.
The sound of the lock clicking seemed to unleash something in Eli.
He fell to his knees and started crying.
Thirty-Seven
ELI
Things were not fine.
I had nearly lost the tips of my fingers because I hadn’t tucked them properly as I chopped. Twice. I kept missing whole sections of conversations happening around me. Some were casual chit-chat. Others were work-related, and I had nothing to contribute. I was the head chef, and I had no idea what the team I was leading wanted from me.
I couldn’t stop sweating. Or breathe properly.
I thought I could hold it together enough to do my job. I had always managed to do it before. I usually thrived at work around this time of year.
But in previous years, I hadn’t forgotten about it completely. I had built my life around it.
I couldn’t get over the fact thatI forgot.
And I was falling apart.
The moment the staff room door clicked shut, my knees hit the floor, hard. I hardly felt it, though, as sobs racked through my body. I was only vaguely aware that I had shiftedinto a more comfortable position, and then my head was resting against something solid. I could hear the steady beat of a heart thudding against my ear, and fingers were running across my scalp. Slowly. Soothingly. I focused on those two things and tried to stop crying.
I didn’t know how long I was crying for, but when the sobs finally started easing, I realised Addie was singing quietly. She trailed off when she noticed I had stopped sobbing.
“Can you tell me five things you can see right now?” Her voice was a whisper, her fingers still running through my hair.
