Page 34 of Change My Mind
It wasn’t a date. He hadn’t asked me out on a date. I didn’t go on dates. I was famously anti-dating. Anti-romantic notions. Love wasn’t for me, and that was perfect.
The butterflies taking flight in my stomach were misplaced. I still had his dick on the brain, and it was clouding my judgement. Making my mind think that this crush was something more than just physical attraction.
I needed to deal with the fact that I found him physically attractive, and then any and all butterflies would die when he did something as simple as tell me that he wanted to go axe throwing with me. Friends went axe throwing. He hadn’t asked me out.
“You think it’s a good idea to give me an axe?”
“If you had asked me at the start of the year, I would have said no because you would have found a way to accidentally-on-purpose cut me with one. But now? Sure. Why not. It’s a good tension release.”
Yeah. So is sex.
I shook my head to clear that thought. Even though it seemed like the best possible way for me to get over this stupid crush I had on Eli, sleeping with my flatmate was the stupidest thing I could possibly do.
“I’m usually quite good at hitting targets. That could be fun. But for now, let’s try climbing a wall.”
“I don’t even know where to begin with that,” he said,looking up at what was supposedly the Goldilocks of walls. Kayla and Lucy were already beginning their ascent. Close enough to keep talking, but also so clearly focused on their own path upwards.
“This shouldn’t be too difficult. The holds are big enough that you should be able to get a good grip with your hands and a solid base with your feet.”
Eli stared at me. “You’re good at this, aren’t you?”
I smirked. “I said it wasn’t my thing. Of course, I’mgoodat it.”
Twenty-Three
ELI
The tattoo on the back of her neck was a dove.
I hadn’t been able to get a good enough look at it again since the first night—a combination of it being in an awkward place that was usually covered by her hair, even when it was tied up in some way, and because I forgot it was there.
But staring at the back of her neck was the safest thing to focus on in a world post ‘Fuck, Eli’.
And now I knew. It was a highly detailed line drawing of a dove.
It was beautiful.
“This isn’t too bad once you get onto the wall,” Addie said. She wasn’t that far off the ground, hanging on one hand, looking down at me. The muscles in her forearm were tensed, her legs solid. There was nothing about her that seemed to suggest that hanging off a wall by the fingertips of one hand was difficult for her.
I wondered, not for the first time, if there was anything that she didn’t take to like a duck to water.
“Addie, what you did to get mere feet off the ground seemed more complicated than I think I am capable of.”
She dropped to the floor like she wasn’t three feet off it, her knees bending, and her thighs absorbing the impact, meaning I had no choice but to look at her again. She was wearing all black—leggings and a longline sports bra that wasn’t padded because, once again, I could see the pebbling of her nipple piercing. It shouldn’t have affected me, and two days ago, it wouldn’t have. But now, I was actively trying to think of ways to give myself the ick so I wouldn’t get hard in a pair of shorts that were just a touch too small at the best of times, in a harness that was highlighting my crotch.
“It’s not complicated. You just have to put one foot in front of the other. Well, not quite. That won’t work here because we’re going up. But there are some good foot and handholds towards the bottom here, so it’s easy to get a start on it. Unless you are afraid of heights. Are you afraid of heights? Because if you are, then you should have told Kayla so she didn’t drag you here in the first place.” She stopped talking and took a deep breath.
It felt oddly reassuring that Addie was rambling. It was the only sign I had that she was affected by what happened, like I was.
“Just step up to the wall and reach for the holds that feel natural for you,” she said, stepping to the side to give me more access to these supposedly good holds.
I was still unclear why I had agreed to rock climbing. Even when Kayla had suggested it, I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be my thing. I couldn’t even tell you why. Maybe I was worried that it was going to wreck my hands. Maybe I did have a slight fear of heights because now that I was standing at the bottom of the wall looking up, I felt a wave of nausea rush over me. A wave that was calmed when I took a deep breath and was greeted by the scent of almonds.
Now that Addie was by my side, I did what she asked and reached for the holds that felt most natural to me. It was a lot easier to get a grip than I thought, and I wrapped my fingers around the two holds I selected and held them tightly.
“That’s good. Now get a foot on the wall. You might want to go with your right leg.” Addie’s voice was close to my ear. Her fingertips brushed against my right thigh as she moved to indicate which hold I should put my foot on. Goose bumps erupted along my leg, and I put my foot where she suggested.
“Now pull yourself off—up. Pull yourselfup.”
