Page 2 of Change My Mind
“Becky, Johannes and I live ten minutes from each other. I literally just did the walk. What are you talking about, long distance?”
“Why are you walking—no, it’s fine. I know you’re at home. I don’t need to worry about that. The reason I am calling you with no regard for time zones… Well, two reasons, actually. Firstly, do you still want to finish your PhD?”
I had been planning to finish my PhD for the last three years, but the thing about making plans is that usually, the universe would rather laugh at your intentions instead. I took one week off to go to Becky’s wedding two summers ago, and by the time I came back, the English department at the university I worked at was in total disarray. Somehow, I ended up being the most senior person left in the team, which meant a lot more responsibility on my shoulders out of nowhere. I promised myself I would pick up my PhD again when things died down. They had yet to die down, and I had given up hope that my plans to finish would ever come to fruition.
“Yeah, the plan is to finish it. It’s on a list, but it’s not exactly at the top of it.”
It was basically at the bottom.
Becky hummed. “Good. That leads me to my next question. Do you want to come home?”
I thought about this a lot these days. My sister didn’t ask me to come home as often as she used to, but shestill floated the idea whenever I had gone on a particularly passionate rant about how much I hated my job and everybody I worked with. I knew she wasn’t wrong, but I had always been hesitant. I liked living in Canada. I liked where I lived. I mostly liked my job, once I had gotten all the ranting out of the way. Except it was increasingly becoming the case that work was all I lived for at the moment. And the more that became the case, the more I grappled with the fact that my job was the only thing keeping me tied to Montreal now.
Over the years, my social circle had narrowed to one actual friend, Tori, and a bunch of acquaintances who were mostly colleagues that I didn’t bother getting all that attached to because the English department was going through staff members at an alarming rate. Was that really a good enough reason to stay?
It was starting to feel like it wasn’t.
I missed my sisters and the ease of being around those four women because we had known each other forever. I still knew what was going on in their lives, but I didn’t reallyknow. I got all my information secondhand, and sometimes, so far after the fact that it was already old news to them. A few weeks ago, Clara had mentioned in passing that she was thinking of proposing to her partner, Jesse, and the possibility that I might miss my actual sister plan her wedding just so I could try and keep a nearly sinking ship afloat wasn’t sitting right with me.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. “What do you need?”
“I needyou. More specifically, I need a professor who knows Shakespeare better than she knows the alphabet.”
That would be me.
Two
ADDIE
Itold Becky I would think about her job offer because what she was asking for was a complete upheaval of my life.
She said she understood, but the moment I hung up, she forwarded an email with all the details that I would need, and I was reading it as I brushed my teeth.
Nothing was out of the ordinary. All things considered, it was an easier job than the one I currently had. Which would mean that I would have more time to work on finishing my PhD. Or dare and try to achieve the elusive work-life balance.
More importantly, I would behome.
As I spat my toothpaste into the sink, a text came through.
Proof of life?
I was supposed to text Tori when I got home from any sexcapades. She rarely read them when I sent them because I did so in the early hours of the morning. But she also seemed to have a sixth sense for when I hadn’t sent them. And then Ifelt bad because she was awake at half three in the morning, worrying about me when I was fine.
I threw up a peace sign and took a photo of my reflection. Braids in the loosest bun in the world on top of my head. An oversized Cookie Monster T-shirt that fell off one shoulder. Green eyes still rimmed with black eyeliner. I realised that I had only taken one set of eyelashes off. Which meant I had also probably only taken one contact lens out. I usually did them in pairs. Fuck, I was tired.
Home
Sorry, Becky called the moment I got through the door and I forgot
Everything okay?
Yeah
And suddenly, I knew that I didn’t have to think about this decision at all.
Might have some news though.
Brunch on Saturday?
