Page 145 of Lucky Shot
“Yeah, maybe,” I say.
For the rest of the day, I catch up with my teammates that were gone for the summer, chat with the coaches. It’s a bittersweet feeling this year that I haven’t felt before. Usually this get-together signals the start of the season and with it an anticipation. I feel all that, but it’s dulled by something else.
Ruby’s gone. Six days. Six really fucking awful days. How the hell did she become so crucial to my happiness in that time?
A quiet voice in my head reminds me that maybe I wasn’t all that happy before she came. Ruby brought disruption to my carefully scheduled life. Disruption, chaos, and sunshine. And instead of going back to that guy I was before she came, I want to hold on to it.
I notice, more than once, Travis staring at me throughout the day like he’s waiting for some sort of reaction out of me.
By the time I get home, I’m exhausted and ready to sit in my own Ruby-centered thoughts. I grab a beer from the fridge and flip through today’s mail on the kitchen counter. It’s mostly junk, but at the bottom of the pile is a large manila envelope addressed to me.
I push everything else aside and pick it up. I recognize Ruby’s handwriting even before I see her name in the left-hand corner.
My pulse picks up as I flip it over and rip it open. I pull out a heavy stack of papers. A yellow Post-it note is stuck to the first page.
Nick,
Thanks for being my inspiration and my muse. If you hate the ending, then just tell me the package must have gotten lost in the mail.
xo,
Ruby
Smiling, I flip the page.To my favorite grumpy hockey player. I can already hear Trav giving me so much shit, but I can’t stop smiling.
With the book and my beer in hand, I head out to the back patio to read it. Instead of skipping to the end, I start over. It’sjust as good as I remember. Her wit and personality is woven into the story so much that I can almost hear her telling it like she was next to me, eyes lit up and smile wide, hands waving around.
My fingers go to the clover charm around my neck. I’ve grown accustomed to the weight of it against my chest, like a tactile reminder that she was here.
Eventually Aidan comes outside with his guitar and sits on the other side of the deck, playing as I keep reading. Dad peeks out on us as the sun sets, then flips on the outdoor lights. I thank him, then go right back to reading.
I can’t turn the pages fast enough. And when I do finally come to the place I’d left off before, I’m amazed all over that anyone can come up with a story out of nothing like this.
After I read the last line, I sit there in stunned awe. All the sadness I’ve been keeping at bay this past week hits me hard. She’s fucking gone, and I should have told her I loved her or asked her to stay an extra day or a week or forever.
“Did you finish?” Aidan asks.
I blink away the haze and look over at him. “Yeah.”
I set the pages down on the table in front of me, gaze catching on her handwritten note again.
“Was it good?”
“Yeah, it was really good.” I nod.
“Figured,” he says.
I huff a small laugh. “You did, huh?”
He shrugs. “Ruby’s smart.”
“That she is,” I agree.
“You miss her, don’t you?” he asks.
The question knocks the wind out of me. I’ve tried my best to show up for him the best I could this week despite the way I was feeling, but I guess that tells me how well I pulled it off.
I nod.
