Page 114 of Burnout
I’m not sure what part pisses me off more. The fact he’s just now realizing how talented Flynn is or that he thinks he has some right to ask about his future plans when he hasn’t been present in years. He should already know all of this and so much more. He should have been the one staying on Flynn about his grades and helping him research colleges and filling out financial aid applications.
Hendrick was lucky enough to get a full-ride football scholarship. Archer and Brogan stayed in Valley for college at least in part because it was cheaper. I’m sure they didn’t feel like they could leave me alone with Flynn either.
But I want my baby brother to go wherever the hell he wants. He deserves that because he’s not had it easy growing up like he has and he’s still somehow the best parts of all of us.
“Why are you here?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“I guess the same reason you all are.”
“No.” I shake my head adamantly. “We’re here to support Flynn. You’re here to what, make a point that you can still pop in whenever you want and jerk us around?”
A flicker of shame passes over his face so quickly I can’t be sure I saw it. He should be ashamed. What kind of man leaves his kids without so much as sending a card on their birthdays? God, I was so devastated when he’d make a promise to be there and then inevitably break that promise. I cannot stand by while he does that to Flynn.
He’s good and deserving. I want so much more for him.
“I just want to watch my son play. That’s it,” he says, but all I hear is, ‘I didn’t show up for you or Hendrick or Archer, but here I am. I found my way to one fucking game in seventeen years. Aren’t I great?’
“If that’s it, then after the game you’ll leave again, and we won’t see you back here?” Archer signs the question without speaking the words like he usually does.
I could almost laugh. Dad never learned to sign for Archer, and I doubt he took it up as a hobby since the last time we saw him. Where would he possibly have found the time, what with all his work and being a giant asshole loser?
Dad’s damage worked on us all in different ways. Hendrick tried to escape it all by leaving and making something of himself, which he did before deciding that wasn’t what he wanted. I guess I dealt with it by letting my hate guide me to be different than him in every way I could. But Archer’s never run from it or rebelled in any visible way. I think he blames at least part of Dad’s disappearing act on his accident, the one that causedhis hearing loss. I remember it well enough to know that it wasn’t like Dad was around that much before anyway, but he’s not wrong that Dad was gone for longer stretches of time after that. So, for Arch, I think being himself has always felt like the ultimate fuck-you.
“He won’t be back after tonight,” I answer for him, then shoot a pointed glare at Dad. “Right?”
His face goes red and he opens his mouth like he might speak, but then thinks better of it. The Valley High team jogs back out onto the floor. Flynn watches us as he grabs a basketball and dribbles it while walking toward the basket where his teammates have started shooting around.
Without a word, Dad leaves. I know it’s too much to hope that he’s fleeing the entire building, but we take a breath anyway.
Brogan’s eyes are comically wide as he lets out a giant sigh. “Well, that was awkward. You guys cool?”
Arch shrugs. “I’m fine.”
Hendrick doesn’t look that calm, but he nods and wraps an arm around Jane.
“I’m gonna take a walk,” I say.
“Do not engage,” Hendrick demands.
“I’m not.” Though I want to. I walk off toward the locker rooms. There’s a back door near them that opens out into the parking lot, and more importantly is in the opposite direction from where Dad went.
I pull out my phone without realizing my intention. Tapping on Avery’s contact, I start to send a text:Guess who showed up at the game? ????, but then delete it. She’s got her own shit and I’m sure she’s tired of hearing my daddy sob story.
Me
How’s the training going? Miss watching me do handstands yet?
I pace the gravel lot while I wait for her answer. My heart leaps at the sound of the incoming message. It’s a selfie of her on the beam.
Avery
If what you meant to ask is if I miss watching you shirtless then the answer is yes.
A short laugh escapes into the night and against all the shitty odds, I smile.
When I get back to the gym, the second half of the game has just started. I pause and stand near the wall watching the action in front of me. Flynn makes a steal and takes off at warp speed with the ball toward the other end. The other players sprint to catch up, but he gets to the basket first, jumping high and laying it in.
What happens next seems like slow motion. One of the players on the other team makes a last-ditch effort to stop him. He jumps, but Flynn is already coming down and they collide midair. My brother’s legs go out from under him and he comes down on his right arm.
