Page 120 of Burnout
I wish things were different and that it was possible to be in two places at once. Of course, I want to keep seeing her, but she deserves more than scraps of my time and energy. She thinksthat she’d be good with it, but I know how much it hurts to be the person left behind. She might be able to live with it for a while, but eventually she’d be let down.
And in the meantime, I’d hate myself for not protecting her from that. But maybe we can still hang out when I’m in Valley. I plan to go back most weekends until the season starts. If everything works out, we can see each other then. It’ll be just like before.
At the thought, a little spark of anticipation spreads through me.
I’ll be home next weekend. I’ll check in with my brothers and then I’ll text her and see if she’s free.
I lie back on my bed, feeling instantly calmer with a plan. I just have to survive without seeing her for seven more days.
FORTY-ONE
On Friday,Quinn talks me into getting out of the dorm and to the track to hang out with Colter and his friends. They had their final big event last weekend and are going to break for a few weeks, then do some smaller events and Supercross shows.
A few of the riders are doing tricks, others are sitting on their bikes talking in groups. Colter is sitting with me and Quinn on the tailgate of his truck. Oak has traded his dirt bike for a skateboard and is riding it in front of us while he and Colter brainstorm group tricks.
“Colter said Knox really likes his new team,” Quinn says, bumping my elbow with hers.
“That’s good.” My stomach twists at the mention of him, but I keep my emotions carefully tucked away. Not that I’m fooling anyone, least of all Quinn.
“He also said—” she starts, but I reach over and squeeze her arm when the object of our conversation steps into view.
My heart stops. God, I’ve missed him.
He’s in his uniform of jeans and a black T-shirt under his leather jacket. How many days has it been since I’ve seen him? I don’t know, but it feels like a million.
“Knox!” Colter jumps down to greet him, and other riders gather around.
He looks up from the group and meets my eyes while holding a conversation. The butterflies in my stomach swoop low.
“Did you know he was back?” Quinn asks.
“No. We haven’t talked,” I reply, forcing my gaze away from him. It stings that he’s back and didn’t even text to let me know. Almost as much as it stung that he didn’t let me know when he left Valley.
“Aren’t you going to say hello?” Quinn asks with a big smile on her face. “He keeps looking over here.”
Before I can answer, he cuffs one of the guys on the shoulder and starts in my direction.
“Oh, I think that’s my cue to get lost,” my best friend mutters before she hops down from the tailgate. She runs by Knox as she’s fleeing, waggling her fingers at him and chirping, “Hello,” as she goes.
I slide off the truck as he comes to a stop in front of me. “Hi.”
“Hey, princess.” There’s a friendly taunt to his voice that pulls on my heartstrings.
We step toward each other. I stop just short of hugging him, but then he wraps his arms around me. Leather and soap and a hint of cologne.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, a little breathless and nervous as I move away and cross my arms over my stomach.
“Colter said the guys were hanging out tonight and that you were here.”
I glance toward Quinn. She’s watching me and Knox with a hesitant smile. Her boyfriend is now on my shit list. He couldn’t give a girl a heads-up?
“I meant in Valley. I thought you were in New Mexico.”
“I was.” He nods. “I’m just home for the weekend. Flynn has his last home game tomorrow night. He’s obviously not playing,but I still didn’t want to miss seeing him take the court for the last time.”
“I’m sure it means a lot to him that you came. How’s his elbow?”
“Better. His doctors say he’s making great progress. He might be able to pitch some later in the season.”
